Nitt-i-tude Test

Well this was also one post which should have come out earlier ,during my engg days at NIT Trichy. But better late than never.
Ever wondered whether you were really made for the campus. Maybe a separate grading system to measure the degree of ‘NITT’itude in you. Well, worry not!
Here’s is a set of questions, which demand absolutely no use of your hard-earned engg knowledge, so to speak and no test preparation. The grading system is in +’s and –‘s (I hope you understand, + means more and - is less).


1.At 8.30 in the morning you

a)Are in bed wondering which world are you in, trying hard to reach out for the irritatingly loud alarm clock. (+ 4)

b)Have finished Splashing deo all over your unclean body and wear the same T-shirt. (+10)

c)Are trying hard to recollect what your bicycle looks like while searching for it among the ones fallen down… (-1)

d)..you realize you don’t have one and look for someone else to give you a lift (-2)

e)Are in the classroom, prancing to and fro, waiting for the teacher to come (-50)


2. In class you normally

a)Fight with the others for the first bench and then sit down to take notes (-100)

b)Are relishing "Tiger" biscuits, sitting in the last row. (+ 10)

c)Are halfway through ‘5 point Someone’. (+15)

d)...And the prof catches you(-15)

e)Wake up just in time for the attendance call.(+20)

f)Irritate the guys sitting beside you by pretending to enjoy the lecture and scribbling in your only book. (+100)


3. In the Octa User lab you generally:

a) Go to the SUN user lab. (-5)

b)... By mistake (-1)

c)Search for your name in the placement site (list of placed students) even 3 months after your placement and get happy once more. (+ 5)

d)Check the online silver notice board for the (supposed)movie in the trical audi, the next Saturday. (-10)

e) Do programming (-∞)

f)Play "Stick-cricket" for 2 hours on the trot (0 if you don’t have a PC in your hostel room, -20 if u have one)

g) Take printouts of your topper’s assignments (+25)


4. In the College Internet lab you:

a) Are trying hard to achieve your longtime goal of 20000 scraps, 800 friends, and 1 fan. (+2)

b) Read the online edition of ‘The Hindu’. (-50)

c) Open wikipedia and start mugging pages for the forthcoming inter-college quiz. (-100)

d) Memorize names of US universities and their disciplines (- 5)

e) Search for your house verandah on google earth (-∞)

f) Piss off the people waiting for their turn by playing the irfan pathan hat-trick on Youtube at least 10 times.(-15)

g) Annoy your 'neighbours' by playing the your favourite hindi song at full blast on your elephant earphones.(- 200 )




5. In the college mess you are:

a) Discussing your CAT scores (-50)

b) Draining out the excess oil from the curry (+15)

c) Working out strategies for CounterStrike (+25)

d) ...Which you started playing yesterday (-125)

e) Fighting with the mess-anna for an extra gulab jamun. (-5)

f) Searching for the paneer in the panner-parathaa, wondering why it is called so. (+ 500)

g) …And you find it at last (+ 1000)


6. The first thing you did after placements was

a) Nursed your battered n bruised backside, due to the 'love' showered on you by your dear friends. (+10)

b) Rushed to the ATM, to treat your friends. (+20)

c) Went to octa internet lab and changed your orkut profile name and used the company logo as ur display pic. (-5)

d) Wondered how many girls would be with you in the company. (-6)

e) Made a face as though you expected to screw up the interview and start boasting on how you overcame all odds. (+1 if less than 10 people got thru along with you, - 100 if more than 50 got thru)

g) Tried to look sad and forlorn over the company's pay package. (-200)


7. According to you, the library

a) Is a place where you sit and study, refer or take books from. (-1000…)

b) Is a place where you get to see,touch and feel rare, centuries-old manuscripts without even having to pay entry fee. (+5)

c) Cough, Cough, Aaaa..Aaaa.. Choo!!! (+ 1000)

d) Er..i don’t know. I am still asking people for directions (+15)

e) Library, you said?? (Long pause).. Is it some kind of a zodiac sign??? (+16)



8. Which of the following would you become, if (god forbid) you werent
recruited in the campus placements?

a) The xerox shop anna: Ever-ringing cash counters (+100)

b) The Gate Anna(Roadside dhaba): I wont need to give any second invitation to my customers. (+200)

c) The Bru shop anna: Night time is the right time. (+ 50)

d) The only stationery shop anna: Monopoly rules (+25)

e) The laundry anna: As long as no one bathes, its business all the way for me. (+ 20)

f) Become treasurer or Co-treasurer for one of the college fests. (+ 10)



9. In case you answered (a) to the above Question what will your future plans be?

a) Buy the library and convert it into "The central Xerox center". (+ 5)

b) Have a lifetime membership facility for regular customers. (+18)

d) Offer special gifts for the ones who duplicate material for more than 100 bucks
Per day. (+ 12)

e) "Buy one get one free" offers and festival discounts (+ 4)

f) Set up branches in the respective hostels itself (+ 1)




10. If your answer to the first Question was (b) what would your plans be?

a) Rechristen it. Give it a Fundoo name. ("Chill Gates" sounds much more appealing as opposed to plants, bamboo shoots, bananas,leaves etc) (+1)

b) Have my Best menu on the Saturday nights (??), at low costs, knowing that the mess food on Saturdays sucks bigtime. (+ 15)

c) Special placement-season offers. A 30% discount for guys offering their first-job treats and 50% discount for second-job treats. (GPA and pay-scale no criteria) (+25)

d) Have a credit card, I mean, "I-card" system,! (+ 26)

e) Obtain a patent for a new product called "Dew lime". (+1000)




11. If your answer to question one was (e), what would your plans be?

a) Launch a door-to-door delivery service. (-20)

b) Teach the hostel boys the virtues of cleanliness, washing and bathing (-100)

c) Stop interchanging clothes (+ 2)

d) Start recruiting boys and give them training. (-1)



Check your score and reply asap.


Regards

Vishwesh

Meeting Pam

Sometimes bloody technology poses more problems than it solves..First it was my I-pod which started misbehaving (It hung comp-style! Wouldnt budge from its display screen..maa kasam). The wretched thing wouldnt even turn off.
Since my dad had used it last, he was the one who had his heart in his mouth. I wasnt to keen on screwing it any further by giving it to some local god-forsaken electronic-waalaa..So I did the best thing possible i could, albeit not the smartest of things..starved it for charge for like 2 days till it went off..then charged it again till it was full.. n Eureka, it sprang to life. See, sometimes it helps to have engineers in the family! We never practice what we study and what we practice isnt worthy enough to be studied..
The next day the computer started showing signs of insanity. It would boot (phew..so it wasnt a HD crash) but i just had a desktop for show..absolutely nothing else on it!! I later found out that it was a virus at work corrupting the OS which was later fixed by an old batch-mate of mine.
A few days later,I decided one fine morning that I would meet by college friends(Pall and Pam) who had started off with their training in Pune. Well not exactly Pune..but a place between pune n mumbai,on the city's outskirts,which houses a certain automobile giant. I had to take directions by phone from good ol' Pam at literally each step of my journey. Everything went off quite well.. till i got down at a place called chinchwad,where it was my cell phone's turn to give its quota of problems.
"Network busy" it said and to make matters worse there was no charge(so.. not just the cell phone, hutch was also partly responsible)!! Shit..I had to reach pam somehow.. otherwise I would be stuck in this damn place the whole night.
There are times in life where one desperately wishes actress Kajol to pop out of thin air and give a Tata Indicom, saying " Network problem?? Switch to tata indicom!Ye aapka saath nahi chodega".
This was just one such occasion!
After about 15 attempts on my side and as many attempts by Pam we finally got to talk to each other again and he found out my exact location. Pam was just the same as i had seen him last before leaving college. Not that i expected him to change.Its his nose which really stands out even today. The same nose which withstood the much talked about nose-operation. Today, he was in traditional gear- kurta and he was all cool n relaxed.


After a tight hug and pleasantries, we got into a "luxury bus" (buses with proper BEST bus-like seats are called luxury buses there). We were meeting each other after a long gap so we had loads to gossip about. Thursdays 'off' for them meant that Wednesday nights were reserved for party time. I gathered from Pam's tone that he did love his job, the place and his colleagues. Though he ruefully admitted that there were just 6 females in their batch of 100-odd .Not that Pam is a champion of women's participation but he would have liked a bit more gender balance.
His talk then centred around a cute HR chick in the company (they only one) on whom the entire male junta had gone bonkers. She was on a short stay in the company to complete her PMP(post grad). A hundred hearts bled when she was later discovered in a coffee shop gettting cosy with her boyfriend..She left the company soon, so no big deal, he said!
I am happy for Pam. Pam, i feel, is on a mission to re-discover himself, exploring the fun-part of himself. The part of him which was in deep slumber during his pre-engineering days, when he was immersed deeply in calculus, organic chemistry, electromagnetism,IIT dreams and coaching classes. We partied in a smallish multiplex-cum-pub till 12.30..till we were absolutely sure that all of us were out of breath and there was no means of transport to take us to our place of stay. Even the last local had left! There were 10 of us including me,Pam,Pall and their work mates. We walked up to the main road and made up our minds to stop any passing lorry for lift. But it was a car which came to our rescue. Yeah u heard it right,CAR not CARS! All 10 of us go into it like mad cattle. I still dont remember which car it was, at that point we found such details pretty irrelevant. We just wanted to reach our place asap
(Ah..I know wat u r still thinkin..how 10 in one car? Sorry cant divulge details.)..
When we reached our destination i picked myself up with great difficulty. I was virtually squashed to pulp under 2-3 big butts and to say that it was excruciating pain would be an understatement.
Pam shares his flat with a guy who lives to sleep all day. The only indication of his "awakening" ,pam said, was when a female's (his girl's) voice came from his room.And that too only thursday mornings when she came to meet him.
The next day was spent roaming in the city with pam and 3 of his friends from mumbai. It had started to rain heavily and we were drenched to the core. The roaming included a trip to one of the prime CAT coaching classes in city since Pam had to kickstart his CAT-prep somehow with the help of a suitable test-series for a reasonable fee.
The lady at the desk greeted us with a smile and later found herself at the recieving end of Pam's bargaining tactics usually reserved for vegetable vendors,which included some intermittent sweet talk as well.It was a cat-n-mouse game being played and finally it was Pam who had to conceede defeat. But Pam's attempts at informal talk seemed to have aroused a sense of regret in her that she was just an ordinary graduate, having worked in this god-forsaken coaching centre for 7 years.
We then caught up with the latest movie "Partner" ,typical of the "Govinda timepass" genre. We were thoroughly exhausted by the time we reached the colony at around 11.
Amazing how company life can change you n ur habits; Pam was up by 7 the next day! He always carries to work a bag which has a John Grisham in it...lol..
He dropped me at the bus stop on his way to work as I bid adieu.

Regards

Vishwesh

Nittwits

"He is a silent,ever-smiling, sarcastic b*****d who loves tearing peoples' reputation to shreds with his blogs"
Hmmm (*enough adjectives used ,i guess)..Thats a very common opinion you would hear about me from most people in nitt. True enough, the 4-yr stay in the vast campus had given me enough to write about. But like most people, the senthu( senti + enthu) got to me in the last month of our final sem. The same things that we had complained n cribbed about all these years now became elements which aroused and added dollops of 'senti' (nostalgia) in us. There was hectic frenzy all around as Reminiscence videos and pictures constantly circulated in the hostel lans. There were pictures of us in fake "study" postures, us in the depts n labs(yes, at least for once we had to show our parents bak home that their money wasnt going waste),pics of us at the roof-top,tree-tops,at 3-star hotels ..we were everywhere. Treats had now become as common a feature in our lives as bread for breakfast, much to an extent that we longed for mess food sometimes. Job-treats, get-togethers,wing-treats, dept-treats, hostel treats, timepass-treats..they just assumed different names but the objective was the same - To make the most of whatever little time was left, with our mates before we passed out of the insti and went different ways. And it all ended on the 15th of may,as I vacated my room and transferred all my belongings into the rickshaw and bid farewell to the college and my friends. As anticipated, it took quite some time for me to digest the whole "getting out" feeling. 4 eventful years have gone by and dvds (or comps) filled with college photos n videos are the only real snippets of reminiscence left with many of us. One thing which most of us wont forget is the nitt college lingo which was part n parcel of our lives 'in' there. These are just a few specimen words from my nitt lexicon.

Chaat ( ch'aat', the number of a's in "chaat" actually gives out the intensity of chaaat one is subjected to (chaatitude) )- Used to describe someone who is well accomplished in the field of dry humour to an extent that you tear your hair in frustration n start screaming, a PJist or someone who can keep talking endlessly. Quite easily the most frequently used word in daily nitt conversations. Used as a noun, verb, adjective. Normally all class lectures are classified chaaaat!

Eg: Abey chaat mat! (verb)
F**k u , chaat b*****d! (adjective)
Man, how can u be such a chaat! (noun)

Qjaada (Jaa'daa', the q is just for timepass. its silent actually)- brimming with too much atti. Mostly used when talking about juniors
( "The guy has just too much 'qjaada'. We need to increase his score.")

Score- an outrageously crazy system put in place to measure the number of hits a hapless junior gets (for no fault of his).
Junior to other junior:" Look (gleefully showing his cheeks swollen like a fulka on the pan)!! my score is 200,its definitely more than yours)

Kela- ( K'laa', dont confuse with banana because the meaning is completely different )- a failure, alternatively used for a situation where things dont work out the way u wanted and hoplessly become worse.
("another kela for me! 5 kelas in 5 interviews! great going")

funti- girlfriend or someone who can be remotely termed so

funti - male version of the above

Dosa - (dont confuse with the south indian dish) dean of student affairs

coe- (pronounced as 'koi' or just C O E)the richest person in college thanks to numerous students' exam paper re-evaluation applications, transcript and grade card requests( along with the cash..i forgot)

cycles- Once in a month phenomenon. short for cycle tests.

afty- (aaf' tee')- still not sure about the spelling (whether its halfty or afty). It basically means that your day ends with the lunch break coz there r no classes after it.Afty can be a matter of pride especially when there are inter-dept clashes on the issue of which dept really works its ass out.

mornty- (mon' tee')- A situation where there r no classes in the morning and the day begins after lunch.

Fulty- (full' tee')- mornty + halfty - classes. Ok fine, its a weekday holiday!

supple (sapp' lee')- Another chance to screw up your grades. Arrears as they call it

baap/maa- one who chaats u, guides u, bugs u with useless advice, n basically gets to boss u around(during the first yr) just beacause you commited the cardinal sin of writing the aieee a year after him/her,from the same state as him/her and choose the same branch as his/her.


beta/beti - Someone who feels the same about u.

potha/pothi- part of the hierarchy

parpotha/parpothi- last in the hierarchy.

maal- Something nice to the eyes,, eye candy!

dog-rice- (the mess annas have a name for it- Pulav) a saturday-nite delicacy served in each n every mess across nitt campus.A must-eat for anyone visiting the campus. Every nittian had eaten it at least once (the only one time). This 'nitt special' comprises of undercooked rice and a generous sprinkling of vegetables, with a brownish-gold color to it.

PBM - Short for Paneer butter masala (also the conveniently modified name of a certain hostel deputy-warden)

barotta - No, not a failed attempt at pronouncing paratha. Its the staple diet of Tamil Nadu. The phrase " roti, kapda, makaan" can be suitably modified as " barota, lungi aur makaan"

dew lime - Water + Ice +Mountain dew + Lemon juice ( Pateneted by the roadside gate annas).

Rem - short for Reminiscence. A rem book and rem video are the highlights of the final sem.

Senti- (Sen'tee') the feeling of nostalgia. If the things that you loved to hate all these years bring tears to your eyes, then you are feeling reaally "senti"!!


Regards

Vishwesh

RaaRaa

Quarter to 3! I was at the xerox shop staring at the empty glass bottles on the juicy table.The xerox anna instantly recogonized me as the guy who took 31 cpc copies daily and laid out 2 bundles of 31 copies each and with it the bill which read 219. What I had was a soiled 100 rupee note. Even then i fumbled in my pockets just to show him i was searching for more cash. Obviously not finding it, i gestured that this was just wat i had. He returned an angry stare which suggested " you are going nowhere mate' as he advanced towards me. And then I woke up with a start as my cell phone buzzed with the all too familiar 'Dil chahta hain' ringtone.Wooow! take that for a monday morning dream.
Bundles of A4 sheets,xerox copies,cpcs for juniors and then evaluating the crap had become more than just a part of life as the cpc co-ordi. Dint take me long to figure out that I was actually learning more from the cpcs than the juniors.But most importantly it gave a huge breathing space to the guy who had made me co-ordi in the first place. RaaRaa! RaaRaa's sole motive behind this whole mission was to delay the inevitable (a blog on him)and he made no secret of his deadly conspiracy which he had hatched to dirupt my lovely blog life.
Now something on RaaRaa, the man, the self-proclaimed drunkard! A battered and bruised face resembling a minefield of pimples( which he soo desperately tries to cover with a mask of ponds talcum powder), a thin lean body which doesnt seem to get any fatter despite the numerous treats he extracts out of others, a false smile on his face make up this Sick-rep. RaaRaa is quite famous for his oratory skills. His speeches,mostly chaat ones concerning placement, companies,etc (wat more can u expect from a sick-rep?)are a hit in the meta dept especially when we need a change from the usual chaat dished out by the profs. But none can beat the one which propelled him to the post of Sick-rep (and later had his adversary in tears).
RaaRaa's entry into the A2 hall for a ppt is nothing short of an event.
He's suave, sophisticated, gentlemanly and his dressing sense is just enough to make people take notice of him.(all the above mentioned qualities were described in a Valentine's Day letter from a secret admirer of his. will come to that later). He gives his pimple-studded face a massage, his fingers running cheek-to-cheek feeling for every crest and trough on his face, his face tilted at an angle,( the same massage that a guy treats himself to in a shaving-razor commercial) quite subconsciuosly though for almost 10 minutes continuously. He surveys the hall at 9.00am (the time when most ppts are scheduled). Seeing it half empty ,much to his disappointment,he strides out with the air of a busy executive. The only misfit here is his vintage 1100. Then the all too familiar "godfather" ringtone can be heard
His first crush
Contrary to his 'prfoessional' image in the tp, RaaRaa is quite a couch-potato in the hostel. Football ranks number one on RaaRaa's interests. All thanks to the love of his life. The one whom he finds absolutley irresristble and bewitching. None other than fernando morientus!! It was love at first sight and from that moment he had made up his mind that if he were to lose his heart to someone it would be this hot dude. His fanaticism(love)reached dangerous proprtions at times.His swelling Octa printing charges nothwithstanding he filled his room with morientus color printouts day in and day out and would keep staring at the posters all day fantasising about him n FM.
Not long ago football took a backseat and he switched over to the cricket world cup. Now what would you call a person who placed a wager on England saying they will win the cricket world cup? Wouldnt sound anything near a reasonable bet even if it was the soccer world cup!! Well, RaaRaa by no means is part of the Barmy Army if you thought so and even if he was one he would be the only one left! Come an England match he sits with his eyes glued to the comp or the laptop stolen from kaly's room. Dont be fooled by his analysis and comments (The types you usually encounter in post match sessions). His knowledge of cricket is as good as Mandira's if not worse.You cant miss out the permutations and combination he works out to suitably convince ppl around him that englands passage into the semis would be no fairy tale
" England will sweep SA,

They will absolutely steamroll ireland and Bangladesh and then make light work of Srilanka. See! not a problem at all"

You remind him that SL and SA are quality teams in world cricket and you can hear him singing hymns in the praise of Kevin peterson and James Anderson. Dont be surprised if you hear a sudden vociferous roar of " England" or " Michael Vaughan" arms raised in the "Hail Fuehrer" way(A cup of beer in his hand and you would be absolutely sure that RaaRaa is english). Unfortunately RaaRaa's hopes were smashed to smitheerens. Quite frankly not a single soul expected the English to blast their way past their opponents into the semis, the way RaaRaa predicted they would. On the contrary England stumbled at the super eight stage itself and RaaRaa switched loyalties to New Zealand to avoid being the laughing stock in our hostel-wing (which he ultimatley did become.). New Zealand ended up losing its semi final match. All this led us to conlcude that on a day if RaaRaa declared himself unofficial cheerleader for a team, the team was destined to bite the dust on that given day.

One of RaaRaa's strengths is his treat-extracting techniques. He is highly skilled enough to convert "dutch treats" into treats for himself despite having notes stuffed in his pocket. As promised here is the letter he recieved.


RaaRaa's Valentine's day letter

Dear RaaRaa,
Please dont think this is just another Valentine's day card proxy and tear it off. Its a piece of my heart that I am offering you in the form of a wrethced piece of paper stuffed in an envelope. Its been long since we met.Rather we havent met in person but u are always there in my dreams.You are soo smart, sophisticated, suave and your dressing sense is amazing. Makes me wonder whether they are really yours.
I have also heard that you are a really brave man and everyone who stands up against you is nothing more than an insignificant 'INSECT' to you !! I have never felt like this about a guy before.
But it seems you have too much of a pimple problem. Deja Vu I should say!! I ll give u a acne pimple cream as a valentine gift. Dont worry.
And it seems we will be working in the same company and place. Have you started searching for a home for "us" in Banglore?? Do tell me asap if you do. I can be your college mate,company mate,...(fill in the blanks)etc etc all in one. I think it will be fun being together. Recently i have come across rumours saying that you booze a lot these days(Devdas style) and people are attributing it to a certain failed love-affair. Well, now that I will joining you in another 2 months you will have no problems forgetting her (I know who she is ! i know who she is!).
Also please please for Heaven's sake change your cell phone and that irritating ringtone of yours. Its doesnt look like one anymore. There are a lot many other things said about you. But i am not the least embarrased by what people around me say because I like you.
Lets have a candle-light dinner at Jenny's today.

Signing off

Yours lovingly
your ValentinEEE



P.S: I am not paying for the dinner tonight.


Regards

Vishwesh

RaaRaa Kaise Na Jale !!

Raaraa came along as a guy who was the least attracted to the fairer sex. He had never spoken to girls before, never even indulged in 'roasting groundnuts'(an obvious fact since he came from chennai, india's most conservative city).
He maintained status-quo till,would you believe it, the 6th sem( some even classified him as a misogynist). But the sick-rep job opened new avenues for frustoo raaraa leading him to discover his masculine self.
The need to shrug off his loneliness and change his orkut profile
to committed intensified. The strong feeling of compnaionship was just so hard to
resist.He threw caution to the winds and stepped down from his self-
imposed bondage, to woo females. And what better place than the tp.

( Hereafter, RaaRaa's crush will be referred to as plain "she" and her boyfriend " he". Sorry cant use names. This has been done to avoid any (further) damage to raaraa's image in tp).

She evoked street-corner whistles and made heads turn wherever she set foot."She" in contrast to raaraa had a treasure of males to choose from. "He" was the prized one among them. . The two of them could be seen hanging out at just every place in the campus hand-in-hand.
But raaraa with a saintly smile, both brush off all rumors of, saying " They are just friends. She will never go out with anyone else. Coz she was, is and will always be mine."
Slowly and steadily she turned raw material for most of raaraa's dreams as he fantasised holding hands with her, floating about, running around trees. Friendship(supposed) turned into admiration. Admiration into love. And love into lust!!But raaraa's high- flying fanatasies were brought down crashing to earth one evening. It was that evening when raaraa had decided enough was enough. Dreams needed to be translated into reality. It was in a way a perfect setting, just the two
of them caught inside tp, heavy rains outside . But,Raaraa was head deep in alcohol.Still it wasn't alcohol blinding him as much as love.

raaraa: (clearing his throat) ah. (coughing)...hic..(tries his best to control the hiccups, but is helpless)
she: (No response as she tried hard to pull out the xerox copies out off the
dabba tp xerox machine)

Raaraa: (clueless wat to do next, coughs; this time a bit louder)
she: (concerned look on her face) oh, do u have a bad throat. (fumbles in her
purse for a 'halls'). Here take this and you will be fine.

raaraa: (stumbles along to to her side) ah..hic.. hic....I wanted to
hic..tell ...hic..you
She: (covers her nose) you are drunk, raaraa. How many times have i told you
not to steal money from my purse to drink?

raaraa: (holds his head, shakes it twice. but the alcohol wont leave him alone)
Sooorry.. sorry..I (staggers). I... just had ...hic ..8 legs..sorry..(voiced reduces
to a mumble) 8 pegs and washed it down with some ...hic..vodka. Whats wrong in it?

raaraa, by this time had staggered enough to get closer to her, he stumbled, rather appeared to,and clutched the unassuming girl's hand for support. Even though she found the smell of alcohol from his mouth on her face excruciatingly uneasy , she dragged the drunkard along to the nearest sofa.

raaraa: (still mumbling, as he lay on the couch, still clutching her soft
hands)you know why i got drunk??
she: (trying hard to free her hand from his grasp) its obvious. You must have
gone with your fellow drunkards; i mean fellow sick-reps. Sorry ,slip of the
tongue.

Raaraa: (eyes half closed, smile) its ok.. yar.. its verrry ...hic..ook. Hey those
dumbasses.. don know how to drink thats why I give them a...hic..crash course everyday. Look at me. I m soo ...hic ..hicc..controllled. I always booze responsibly. An occasional ..hic..boooze once .hic..every 2 days.
she: (still cant help the smell) That I can see for!! Shame on you!!! I m appalled. At least spend your own money on the booze. Stop stealing money or taking booze treats.
Disgusting!!!

raaraa: (big drunkard's laugh, although it sounded artificial) money..comes now ..hic....goes tomorrow.. wats the use of having it in the wallet (eyes still closed).

raaraa: I want to tell you some..something (closes his eyes). I.. dont..hic..
(pause)..know how.. how.. tooo hic...say it..

Papa ney kaha cigarette chod do, chod diya
Doston ney kaha treat lena chod do,chod diya
Tum keh rahi ho sharab chod do, almost chod diya
Kal koi kahe " duniya chod do" toh main kya karoonga??

( Literal Translation:
Dad said "quit smoking", I quit
Friends said " quit taking treats from others", I quit
You tell me " Quit drinking", I almost quit
What if someone says " Quit the world?" )


She stood shell-shocked,,expressionless, rock-solid. For a moment the world seemed to have come screeching to an indefinite halt. Raaraa meanwhile was half out of the couch, hanging out of it local-train style,eyes half open, smiling to himself as if the whole poem was an original.(actually some part of it was straight out of Devdas)

she: (her face now changed to normal as she flashed a smile): Wow!! what a line. It
rhymed perfectly. you say poems even when u r drunk. But I have a feeling I have heard it somewhere before.

Raaraa looked confused. This reaction of her's wasnt remotely close to wat he had
expected.He was either expecting brickbats or roses!!

She: raaraa you are such a good guy, even though u r such a culprit.U r someone whom
i have always looked to for support.
Raaraa's joy knew no bounds. He opened his mouth in jubiliation, only to see her move her face away and cover her nose.

She: (now holding his hand, sending a 1000-watt shiver down RaaRaa's spine)
raaraa: (shaking his head) yeah? Yeah? go on?

she: I have a surprise for you. She pulled out something from her purse.
raaraa: Yes yes show it (really desperate now, all the booze seem to have evaporated all of a sudden)

She: (sound effect) Tan..Da..Daaan. her it comes out!! Guess what??
Just a sec! It took just one second for RaaRaa's expression to go from extreme ecstasy to the deep depression when he saw the 'surprise'. A silky, shiny and colourful surprise it was. He was shattered!!


She: Here's a nice Raakhi for you!!! Happy RakshaBandhan to my dear little kid brother RaaRaa!

RaaRaa's face fell!! Did she really say Dear little KID BROTHER(kid brother-
highlighted, bold, italicised, emphasized...)!!
Oh no!! the words rang in his ears for the next few minutes.

"Happy RakshaBandhan to my dear little kid brother RaaRaa!" (Echo Effect!)

She could well have stabbed him with a knife or strangled him. He pinched himself just to make sure it wasnt one of the real bad dreams (ones featuring his fellow sick-reps). How he wished he had stayed drunk a little longer so that he wouldnt have heard her. How could she ever do this to him?? All those "flower and bee" dreams that he had seen all these days were after all just screen-saver material. He was heart-broken. He couldnt swallow the lump in his throat; it had grown football size.


she: Kya hua? Dont u like it? its from me your big sister!u were shocked naa?
surprise surprise!! Why r u crying??
raaraa: (melodrama spilling over) ya.. yes it is a real surprise.. (wiping of
his tears) Pagli,Yeh toh khushi key aasoon hain (fool,these are tears of joy)!

That night seemed like an eternity. Those words still rang like a bell in his ears. He spent the next few months in solitude. Beer kept him company though he had graduated to gin by now. His marks dipped. His CGPA took a plunge. He spent each whole day listening to meodramatic a.r rahman and lucky ali tunes on the laptop stolen from kaly's room.

And if you are still wondering what happened next.. well..He spent some time in Alcholics Anonymous till he was fine.

Now, He's gone back to his old crush.
Fernando Morientes!!


Regards

Vishwesh

Jajment

That my room stays locked for most part of the day is no surprise and to say that it serves as a virtual lodge would be an understatement.Perhaps the only time it finds favour with guys is when one of them drops in to get a good afternoon's sleep(dich,he says my room induces sleep thanks to its 'AC' effect) or when one of them needs the day's edition of the spicy TOI.One of them is jaj!Jaj fancies himself as the official wandering tramp of pearl hostel. You will be forgiven for mistaking him for the wild boar-hogging,Roman bashing Gaul Obelix of 'Asterix' fame. The fat belly of his is really hard to miss as it tries hard to push out of his T-shirt like an inflated balloon. He has a large appetite(pun intended) for words, and he has got the 'balls'(pun again) to smash any english lits event at any place, at any time.
No sooner has he brushed his teeth, he lumbers his way to the vetti wing. He
surveys all open rooms along the way, till he reaches dich's room which is his
obvious favourite.
Jaj's favourite pastime is pulling dich's leg's and in the process adding a few
more Tamil swear words to his already swelling lexicon. Jaj quite dutifully and
successfully fulfills all the 'hostel' duties like staying jobless for hours
together,listening to gossip and doing bakar . If he is lucky he gets charge of dich's comp in the room and then its CS all the way.He has this rather
unconventional stance of playing the game. His fat,bucket-like palms rest on
the battered and bruised keyboard, the fore legs of the chair are raised while
he supports himself on its hind legs. He has mastered this art to
perfection( Not that it guarantees safety to anyone sitting behing him on the
floor!). He goes about on his firing spree till he finds that he is no match
for the BOT. A spell of unmentionables(obviously directed towards the BOT) is
let out in fury, in whatever sparse tamil he knows. Whether its a confrontation
with dich or CS, decibel levels are always on the higher side.

jaj's obsession for his second job is the talk of the hostel now-a-days. He
was made to look gullible when he sat
for a company which presented quite a rosy profile of itself. Unfortunately, jaj was
selected.Since then he has been following the entire placement scenario under a
microscope. He is quick to latch on to anything which he consdiers a clue about
the new companies, their arrival date etc. He could go to any lengths to force
the beans to be spilt- take one of the cic-reps() out for a casual dinner at
a gate and after a hearty meal spend a few hours of mindless bakar and slowly
but gradually sliping in the placement issue so that they let out their secrets.
Unfortunately his indecision isnt helping him either. Raaraa's wise-cracks
only add to his misery.Its been going along for sometimes. Raaraa gives him
assurances about the most awaited 'big ones'. jaj plays the waiting game skipping the 'small ones' for it. But a day before the supposed big-one, jaj dsicovers that is is actually a "tech profile" which leaves him high,dry and frustrated. jaj's gpa doesnt help matters much.
Jaj is probably the biggest placement critic that the college has had for
years. He cant understand the logic behind so many tech companies descending on
our campus for placements. When you remind him that this is a T-school and
there are as many software companies as tech, he is quick to retort that there
should be more of non-software and non-tech offers (Why dont you try your luck
in Bollywood, sunshine!!). He even went to the extent of dashing of a
suggestion-letter titled "i will teach you how to recruit potential candidates
like me" to a particular firm after he failed to make it!
All this hulabaloo for just one thing: A Bloddy, Friggin double job!!!
If you thought this is the end of story, wait a minute, keep your fingers
crossed! For you just know he wants a double job to get out of his OC profile,
you dont know what about that profile scares him,(rather who about the profile
scares him). Well no marks for guessing! Its good old papa!! She was and is
news always, isnt she! She has been the raw-material for jaj's nightmares. The thought of himself and her working in adjacent, AC filled cubicles, sends
cold shivers down his spine. The mere mention of papa scares him out of his
wits.( wouldnt be a bad idea to refer to her as the "You-know-who" or "She-Who-Must-Not-be-Named" ,harry potter fame).

No surprises here, considering his hate-turned-phobia for females.Jaj comes
along as a really spineless dude when it comes to girls. Due his age-old
isolation from the fairer sex, he is facing a crisis of sorts.Stories are rife
that he knew about a girl in school only through his mom and that too
when he was in engg college. The introduction to chirkut
seemed just the right medium to connect with females. At least he dint hav to
talk to them face-to-face and avoid wetting his pants in fear. But paranoid jaj
has his own share of problems here too! He cant get along with any damn female.
He has narrowed his fem-quest only to ..er..well..Pallakkad females.Come what
may,he still cant get papa out of his mind (one of thsoe love-hate things)
. The heart-break after the kau incident explains it.

To give you an idea of how a conversation between jaj and papa would sound,lets
take a quick fast-forward. For more see the post below

Papa's jajment day

Jaj and papa in OC, Bangalore:

Papa: (sees jaj, waves out to him) hey,hi,i have seen before,arent u from NITT?
Jaj: (looks back to check whether its really him or someone else, hesitates).
Er..ya..hi..I m from NITT.

Papa:oh! (strectches out her hand).hi.. I m lux papa!
Jaj: Er..( hesitates,dreads the possibility of shaking hands with papa, looks
around if anyone is watching)..I ..er.. just came out of the toilet now..sorry!
anyways.. Hi..jaj here!aaa.. nice meeting u.

jaj makes a dash towards the elevator to show her that he is busy but she
stalks him all the way. In the elevator:

papa:(pulls out her hanky and mirror from her bag) No probs yaar! (checks her
make-up).. I have seen u around for quite some time.Its strange v are from the
same college and havent spoken for a yr.
Jaj: (doesnt know what to say)..Er..I..I was a bit busy ..i dont think i
noticed you were around!


papa:(smiles, turns on her seductive charm)too busy..or..just too busy for me
jaj: (terrified, sweats profusely)i..i... dont know what u talking about!And in
any case I dont know you that well either.

papa: Oh c'mon, we got selected and rejected for the same companies countless times.Dont u think its something more than co-incidence??
jaja: (nervously) yes, it is something more than co-incidence..We were both useless 7-pointers. And even though u had a better C.G than me,u r stalking me like hell.


papa: Loosu! Why are u getting so frightened of me?? Oh, you thought I am
gonna ask you for a treat,like kau, right?? clever boy!I m not going to ask
anything from you. Is that ok?
jaj: (cools himself down,breathing heavily)Gosh kau!! you took a treat out of
that guy in college! (gets a measure of how powerful she can be,pauses)....ok..look..I
have to go..i have lots of work!

Suddenely the elevator comes to a halt!! The two are stuck inside!
papa looks as unfazed as ever,looks at jaj and flashes a wicked smile!

papa: Your work can wait and anyways it just the two of us here, so there's no
escaping!
jaj:( mutters a few tamil swear words under his breath)

papa: Hey, that! Those words sound soo familiar! arent they part of the dich-
slang??
jaj: yes.He promised to teach me tamil and taught me this instead, that idiot,
dog! But how do you know dich??

papa: aaah dich! shared some good times with him! He was good but not good
enough to deserve me! Had to chuck him and move on ,u know(says it as-a-matter-
of-factly). But he made a good courier-service guy, transporting notes and
stuff ,hostel to hostel
jaj: (Now start to feel a li'l more intimidated and scared of papa)..oo.. okk..
(wondering wat she will do next)

papa: Hey leave all the talk about guys.( Runs her fingers over her hair)How am
I looking today??
jaj: (fear filled, the look of a hostage, still looking at the
floor)..er..well.. nice..yes nice!

papa: Loser!! Cant you even see a girl in her face and talk?? Do I have to
teach you that too?? (Holds his face firmly so that it faces hers). Now tell
me, how do I look?? (winks her eye)

jaj:(limbs totally shaking and shivering with fear, summons all his courage,
looks at her for a split millisecond,turns his face away) nice.. cute!!

papa: (gives him a light slap on the face) Only cute?? nothing more than that??
Anyways,at least tell me how does this dress look on me!

jaj: (just too much for him, he is on his knees now, closes his eyes, shakes
his head) Shiv shiva!!pls forgive this girl n me too!!(slaps himself,prays to god)

Draws the lakshman rekha on the elevator floor with a pen, seperating him and
her
papa: (flabbergasted, half smiling, half confused) Cant you appreciate genuine
beauty? Now Wat the hell is wrong with you, y are u drwing that line, jaj?

jaj: dont cross that line! Dont step any further(his plight is now that of a
helpless woman standing in front of gulshan grover approaching her with hungry
eyes).

papa: (a laugh) Relax da!! Tell me, do I look like someone who would harm you,
I mean considering your size and mine. Do you talk like this to all girls?

jaj: Daddy told me not to talk to girls! My daddy was right!I even hate using
girl names(on the point of crying) Sings the nursery rhyme taught to him.
jajant jajant, yes papa
Seeing girls, no papa
telling lies, no papa
Open your eyes, wah wah wah!!

papa: Hey, that is my name which you are using at the end of every line,dumbo!
jaj: Oh sorry, i dint realize!

papa:cool cool! (stretches her hand out ), friends?
jaj: (looking a bit more composed now) No, I dont have any 'FRIENDS' cd's with
me,all that you wanted has been written and couriered to you by dich!!

papa: Poda mokkai (chaat)!! I was asking ,we are friends, arent we??
jaj: I guess ya! But it will be safe naa, I mean,I havent had female friends before.Daddy says....

papa: Oh shut up!! gr8, then!! Things always happen for the good! lets just say, I am your first girlfriend (grins, pats him on the back). I will add you in chirkut as my 500th victim. By the way , your Tamil sounds awesome, i'll teach much more tamil then wat Dich taught u and (pauses)..much more than tamil too!

jaj: So,..ya.. forgot to ask! Wat r ur hobbies other than filling up CV's and resumes,sitting for companies for a double job, attending interviews . Infact(now emphatic)I have the same set of hobbies, u know!

papa: Wow!!U too!! v have so much in common da! Infact I luv solving crossies,( takes out a crossie from her bag), isnt this a crossword??

jaj: (smiles) yeah... I ll teach u how to solve crossies. Infact very people know that I m the crossie king. They hav no "clue" who i m !!
papa: (charmed thoroughly, hands on her cheeks, open mouthed) wow!!u r soooo good!!

jaj: Oopss.. (rubs his stomach). I just realized... I m hungry now! I wish v could go to the gate if someone sponsors us!

papa: No worry! its on me! I'll treat u at home! I can make good rasam rice, (closes her eyes ,licks her lips) and I m sure u'll luvvvv mom's curd rice! (proclaims softly) After all, The best way to a man's heart is (eyes jaj's stomach) thru his belly naa?

As luck would have it , the elevator springs back to life.People look on as jaj and papa walk out hand in hand.

Regards

Vishwesh

Going Natts !!

Time just flies huh? 3 months have gone by in a jiffy since the start of the
sem.
The 7th sem in the dept has been no different from the previous ones, except
that, its been a li'l too chaat for our liking. But the rules are the same ,
toppers perched on the first few benches scribbling away at will while we doze off
with our eyes open.The xerox process is still followed with the regularity of
an age-old ritual before the cycles ,no matter wat the subject and then we devise ways to mug the xerox copies.
Natts,true to nature, has been going nutts. He is your quintessential gurukul
school master (The ancient "sit on a raised platform under the baniyan tree"
types that you see in those mythological serials).Unfortunately his pupils are far removed from the gurukul system!
Besides being a little hard on hearing, he can be heard only within the radius
of the first 2 rows of benches. Sit in one of the coveted back-benches and you
will be treated to a silent-movie ,characterised by Nattu's sudden modulation and weird hand movements (one of which resembles a bharatnatyam dance move, another which sounds like the karate stance which keanu reeves' takes against agent
smith in matrix...lol)
His new record this sem was a greuelling 2 hour and 10 min session after the
lunch break. He went insanely beserk that day and guys would have wondered
whether they had enjoyed a little too much in the 2yrs in the dept.
Natts takes corrosion . But the first few months of the
sem were anything but corrosion.
He took the whole first month explaining why he was the boss and the virtues of cent-percent attendance(the conclusion: "if you dont atttend guest lectures, your job prospects are in trouble").
The second month was marked by an introduction to good ol' chemistry(his obsession with the Daniel cell is well-known. Good "chemistry" u see... pun very much
intended) .His age-old romance with electro-chemistry, at times, made me feel
that I was back in bhavans college, andheri for a second term. Well, after 2
months of constant belaboring, he came to the point, much to our
relief.Probably he must have seen the subject name "CORROSION" in the time-
table.
Nats has this uncanny knack of chipping in with the most outrageous analogies
and fundaas to explain a certain subject matter!He takes a smooth de-tour
from the topic under focus more often than not , in his quest for "give-n-
take" of information.

Welll.....To give u a taste of it just read the post below this.

Regards

vishwesh

Livin la viva loca !!

The 6th sem and our lab exams were
on.Well, guess who was taking oue viva-voce!!! Natts !
I was the penultimate candidate for the viva session! Excerpts from the viva:

Natts: Come,Sit,(gives me my evaluated cycle test paper which I take instantly
without seeing the marks) What is your name?"
me: (my loudest best) Vishwanath hariharan ,sir !


The name struck him like a thunderbolt. He put down his paperwork and looked
at me.
Natts: Oh! where are you from?
Me: sir, mumbai

natts: mumbai!!oh! where in mumbai?
me: sir ,andheri.

natts: where in andheri? east or west?
me:(now this was getting on my nerves .Even then..) Andheri East, sir!

natts: (pen in hand,thinking wat next to quiz me on, history or geography)
hmmm...Why is it that there is only east and west? Y not north n south?

Gosh.. in these 20 odd years that I have lived in tinseltown mumbai, never has
anyone asked me this and neither hav I been curious enough to know why is
there no south or north.(Heheheh...Imagine borivli south,
andheri north...lol!!)

me: (giving him the impression of a planned, well thought-out answer)Sir, the
railway line divides a suburb into east n west.Sir, thats why there is no
north n south.

(grrr.... stupid answer. "u and ur super-chaat fundaas, vish!!" I thought)

natts:(gave the feeling as though he was thoroughly convinced)hmm..There is a
place called dadar, no? how far is dadar from andheri?

(How far??? Distance in terms of what?? In mumbai ,distance is measured in
hours of travel. But if I tell him that he ll probably tell me that my basic
physics is all screwed up!)

Anyways, I took the safer route and counted ... Dadar,
matunga road, mahim , bandra, khar, santa-cruz, vile parle, andheri.


Me: Sir, 8 stations away! (Perfect!!)

Natts:(His next question, I knew it was coming...hehehe).
How long does it take from dadar to andheri?

me: sir, depends upon whether u trvel by fast or slow local trains! U take
around 15 min by fast and a little more than that by a slow local.

A voice inside my head popped up and said
" Tell him that this is a semester viva voce!! He should be
asking you tech! You hav prepared for 1 full hour before coming here. 1
friggin ,full hour!!!
(Giggling , followed by a smirk)The guy after you (Raavana)has been preparing
for a "tech viva" (Yep,viva voce can be tech or hr, as I had just
discovered ) for a whole lifetime. If he faces the same viva as you, he ll be
heart-broken" Hehehe I coudlnt help but smile at that very thought.

Natts: Okk. There is a new place in mumbai. i dont know whether exactly in
mumbai or not.What is its name.
Me: (wat sort of a question is that?)Sir..er..new place..which place sir??
(heheh..even i was asking him the same question)

Natts: Its a very new place..dont remember what u call it!!
Me: (with a give-me-a-clue expression on my face) Sir ,is it Bandra
reclamation!!

(Bandra reclamation!!! hahahaha...(rollin on the floor with laughter).
"Gimme a break vish, U suck bigtime"! You are probably the only guy on earth
who would have dreamt of bringing up bandra reclamation in a metallurgy viva!)

How the devil did i come up wid that answer,god alone knows!! (It didnt sound
so funny at that point of time...haha..bandra reclamation!!)

me: Sir, is it Navi mumbai(correcting myself), New bombay!

Natts: (liteally sprang up towards me with an expression which
suggested "eureka,eureka!!", smile on his face)
Yes!! new bombay. So ,new bombay it is !!That was the place i was looking
for! It is a new establishment??

Me: sir, it is relatively new compared to Greater mumbai!It is a well-
developed n planned satellite town of mumbai. It houses residential
colonies.Many college have also come up.


natts: hmm..(seeming disintersted in the "residential n college" part)
hmmm...ok So u have 2 parts: greater mumbai n new bombay.What is that greater
mumbai that you said?

Me: Sir,it comprises of the island part of the city.

natts: Where are vashi and nerul ? greater mumbai or new bombay.
Me: Sir, new bombay.

natts:okk! So you have to cross the sea each time you have to go to new bombay.
me: Yes sir.

natts: There is a place which comes on the way to Vashi. I dont know whether I
am pronouncing the name correctly . Its name is mankad i think. Something of
that sort .(Repeats) mankad. Am i right?
Me: (Gotcha, this time!!) sir, it is Mankhurd!!

Natts:(repeating his earlier "spring up" act): Yes Yes!! oh, so the name is
mankhurd! (repeats)


natts" How many stations come between dadar and nerul?
me (Oh god not again):sir, both are different lines.


natts: Oh different lines!! ok ok! which is the line on which andheri comes?
me: Sir, western !

natts: and dadar?
Me: sir on both, western n central, it is sort of a junction!

Natts: There is also another place,(thinks),ya some so... ssomething starting
with S.
Me: Sir, Sion

Natts: sion, sion!!! yes. Its far away from dadar?
Me: no sir, (saving myself another question) sion,matunga,dadar.

natts: (looking much more interested n refreshed now)oh matunga comes after it!
ok!! which is that railway line which runs closer to the sea coast??

(along the sea coast aa??? ...sea coast???
oh achcha,!!! "arre tubelight!! He is referring to the harbour line i think")
Me: Sir, the harbour line!!

natts: "Harbour line!! ok ok!

Natts: I have been to mumbai before also, but I keep forgetting everything!
Me: (listens silently and nods at regular intervals)

Natts: That nerul, there is a big Hanuman statue there, is it not??
Me: Yes sir (Now it was very clear to me wat he was getting at). Yes sir...
....(quickly added) sir, there is also a well known Vedha-paatshaala there.

Natts: (his joy knowing no bounds,he would have got up and kissed my head had
it not been a viva) Oh Yes!!! Yes yes!I have heard a lot about it.

Just when the discussion was at its peak, we were interrupted by an unexpected
visitor, a certain math prof.
I waited outside while they spoke.
When they were done I was called in for the viva once again and this time
Natts fired metallurgy trivia straight away!! (as if nothin had happened at
all before this).
At the end of it he seemed satisfied .

I ended up with an 'A' in this lab, one of the very few ones and (phew..wipes
of the sweat off his forehead)one of the hard-earned ones!!

Regards

vishwesh

Write Back!

Howdy!!
I dont hav a count of how many countless number of times you guys have visited my blog address to see if anything new is cooking up (Its a pity actually, there's no recent vistors' list in here.).

Anyways, Sorry for the delay! No dat I hav run out of topics or issues(will never happen in a million years.) Just that I hav been cooling my heels(literally) after placements.
As we guys so often remark, "Jobless after bagging a job", (oops..two jobs)!Festember, our college fest, accentuated that feeling even further. That my cycles' (cylce tests) results are in total doldrums is also testimony to it! But as they say, life moves on.

By the way, psst..for once I have got a chance to use my penning skills for a more fruitful cause. Yep, TPS, the college mag! No worry,blogging continues as usual!
Hope everything goes along well!!

Regards
vishwesh

"Mad for each other"

I guess the Darwinian theory of "survival-of-the-fittest" makes its presence felt everywhere in your daily life,whether you like it or not.
He hehehe ...Read on....
This is the stoy of Dich,papa and kau.

Lux Papa,though,a simple country girl, had this very stubborn-bitchy image
about her which made
her a total turn off for every Y-chromosomed creature in her dept. Everything
from the clothes she wore , the guys she talked (she never talks to females
anyway)to the "lux scandal" which rocked the dept ,raised her "infamous
celebrity" status notches higher, with every passing day. Someone who admired these
developments very secretly was Dich.
Dich was given the coveted title of Dich the Doggie, which only privileged few
in the campus are capable of bagging. As a token of his modesty he had
christened the Coffee Shop dog as dich too. An ardent animal lover, he had a
soft corner for the
cannine species and could be constantly heard saying "Wat a
faithful dog!!" In many a sense, the dog reminded him of the days when he
slogged is backside out to break into the top ranks in the entrance exam to get
into the college,the way he barked and drove out the countless denizens of Pearl hostel who infested his room and troubled him.
This was the same campus where he had met papa,his "figure".
He relived those past moments of how he had "corrected" her,the time they spent
together, in the same class, same bench, same..watever.Group study was always on
the cards. He even took to the "FLAMES" funda to verify whether she was the best
fit for him, by wrtin on the walls of the classrooms. Unmindful of her true
nature,he had built castles n sky-scrapers in
air, about transforming their bond into something substantial.But it wasnt to
be. He discovered to his horror that she was two-timing him. "That is it!!!" he
said. And it stood broken. Dich spent days in tears. OF course, papa was the
least affected as guys swarmed all around her.
2 yrs passed by. Placement season was on. The new-look dich had
blasted his way into MS and topped on all accounts: be it the CG, screwing
the comp(in the name of programmin), his fan following (male n female???). DS was
one of them.DS had accompanied Dich all the way to tinseltown mumbai. Dich
trusted her in every sense and liked her too.their combined pay totalled 2.5
lpm.But dich soon realized that there wasnt that fire that he had experienced when
he was with papa.
Papa's fortunes had just begun to look bright even though she looked a mere
shadow of dich. She got her lucky break in the form of the "OC" profile a few
days after dich. Dich had been on a short holiday to chennai then.
Meanwhile,Kau and his friends(the chennai gumbal) had just reached the station. They spotted a restaurant to get a light dinner before they moved on.As luck would have it,kau bumped into someone really familiar.But he couldnt remember who she was.Girls were never a comfort zone for kau. It was papa! papa too was on her way home and it seemed something much more than coincidence dat they meet this way.

Kau: WAT the SHIT?
papa:(lookin unnerved) i m so sorry.

kau: its ok, boss. so wat u doin her.
papa: doin research on zulu tribes. loosu , i came to eat here.

They sit down in a secluded spot, far away from the others.

papa: I hv seen u somewhere. Rn't u the presi of the "B' club?
kau: Hohohohohho(stifled laughter), Yeah dats me!
papa: wooooow!! I luv dat club so much. can i join it too. I luv drwing n painting.


kau: (feelin amused) All this is CHEAP shit! In a few months from now, i ll be
flyin to the Big apple (shows the sign of a plane flyin with his customary whistle.)
papa: Good, but for dat u need a visa first.

kau: PATHETIC! i thought i needed an air ticket. SCREWWWEED! anyways, What will
u do?
papa: Me will go to Singapore. marriage n stuff, u know.

kau: (whistles, runs his hand through his hair.) CHAMP!!

kau: will u come to US if u get a chance?
papa: Yes i want to daa, but how will I?

kau: Thats so simple! Mug the entire-wordlist, revise it 3 times.All this should
take only 3 weeks. Then give 10 complan tests. dat will take one week. everything over. last day give the exam.and then apply for univ. Damn Simple!!

papa: (by now floored n charmed by kau's knowledge):wow! And wat is dat "Hotel" test ?

kau: "WAT? its not hotel, its TOEFL. I ll give it this month."
papa: "ya watever. You know so much." (smiles flirtatiously)

kau:" Disgusting! In this mock CAT, a girl topped in ourcollege. WAT a SHAME!
papa:(looks amazed n confused,all at once n looks at kau as if he is talkin swahili)

papa: U on "chirkut" or wat?
kau: Ya, i m ther!


papa: So, wont u give a job-treat to a girl sittin with u,huh?
kau: : Sure! (pulls out n checks his wallet, in case..).


The talk went on, numbers exchanged.

papa: Thanks for such a lovely treat. by the way, dont you think your club needs a first lady,right? I m be of help.(Winks)

Kau: I leave 'no leaf' unturned,when it comes to feminine pulchritude.I detest
the adherence to archaic tradition in the club.

The chennai gumbal was left speechless as they saw the "figure" being
"corrected" by kau in the space of minutes.

Dich heard the news and is still in mourning.


Regards

vishwesh

Placement sentiment-1

Hardly a month into the placement season as people all around me get their choicest companies and I go about blogging endlessly. The first of the tech co's for meta was TM and it was the first 'kela' that I got.
The TM debacle wasnt to much of a setback for me!Jobless and unemployed I always was and have no qualms about it even now! Nevertheless,the aftermath witnessed some shocked expressions from the junta,most of whom thought TM was a total cakewalk for me. But alas,they were treated to the biggest disappointment of all times( second only to Germany's unceremonious exit from the WC semifinals.).
Our placements kicked off, the most conventional way (the way its been going on in our college from time immemorial! Two software giants,bulk recuiters,( whose abbrev letters can be subjected to permutation and combination to obtain each others' names), coming back to back! But surprise surprise! All dreams of "bulk" evaporated once the HR and Tech interviews results came! Only 50 were thru (yes 50 thru, and we dont call it bulk, dats our college!). Was this the sign of things to come! There was widespread panic among the "softy" junta who had nursed high hopes till then! News spread rife that our college was no longer on the "favoured" list and that others had caught up with us!
The same week heralded the entry of the most expensive tech recruiter of the non-circuit branches till then(at least for our dept). TM was and is always the talk of the town! But alas they flattered to decieve, if the ppt was anything to go by. The 2 dudes, one a grand ol' man of 60(isnt that the retirement age??) something and the other man a tad younger to him, made their way in to the barn. The ppt was supposed to give an insight into wat the company is all about and y the hell shuld u be part of it. Instead, in half n hour's time, the whole junta was subjected to a series of mindless figures of thousands, various allowances,added benefits,PPF percentages n what not's. The audience was left in a daze as if they had just been treated to the first quarterly returns for FY-2006-07 of TM. Honestly, till then I had only seen such pictures on CNBC India where they talk about turnovers, gross profits, post-tax profits, F&O's and stuff! The young dude seemed to like our campus, because there was (supposedly) a lot of greenery in some areas (the trees must have grown overnight i guess). He compared the campus to their manufacturing facility which also had "big plants" (???..hehehe).Wat still remained a mystery was their profile- marketing or manufacturing?
The written test was held the same day in our net-lab, an online one it was!The same 2 dudes were there as well! The ol' fella was constantly saying something tothe tune of " Attempt every Q. There is no negative("no negative marking" emphasized, bold, capitalized,Italic ...) marking. As if he was endorsing the "matka-maaro"(guessing) thing that we fear doing in tests, due to the negative marking penalty axe on our head! Nevertheless it was a testing one and 6 of us got thru from our dept.
GD was the next round and the all shortlisted candidates were present at the t &p . There were 7 in my group and we were supposed to speak on globalisation! Normally one would smell a fish-market in most gd's here, but today was different! Everything was so amicably done.5 minutes of puttting ur thoughts down and the 15 minutes of talk! I cut loose and blabbered incesantly for a full 2 minutes in my initial burst much to the chagrin of my fellow gd mates who probably must have harboured thoughts of plastering my mouth.Then others got a chance, while I chipped in between,occasionally building on what the others said.
I was one of the 20 gd shortlists. I was the penultimate interview candidate and this wasnt a very encouraging sign at all.The ones who went in before, on an average had interviews which lasted 10 mnutes approx,which were"coolkaal"! My turn came at 7.40 pm, my stomach grumbled harder for food ! "But job u need more than food ", i said to pacify it momentarily!
There were 3 dudes now! The 3rd one had apparently flown in the previous day evening (I overheard their loud phone convo, during the online test.).

To be continued......

Regards

vishwesh

placement sentiment-2

hi, to continue from where I had left.
There were 20-odd guys (by guys i mean, only boys, no females at all!)
shortlisted for the interview/s (v didnt know beforehand whether it was just
tech or only a HR).I was made to wait for a marathon 3 hrs in an A/C room (yep,as
if dat was a consolation).In the 3 hrs ,I made a trip to the snackyteria twice.
People on the way probably thought I was done with the I'view.

Later we were informed that, it was just HR, which made it even more
difficult .With two u had a chance of "making up" if at all u got jacked
in one. But here i had just a solitary chance.The candidates who went in came out, well, mostly wid smilin or non-crying faces. The interview time for each candidate just came decreasing all the time like a geometric series. After wat seemed to be an eternity ,my turn came.

I had observed all the previous guys subjecting themselves to ..well.. wat i would call "pre-nterview check-ups" (clearing the parched
throat,adjusting the straight tie,positioning the belt correctly, shuffling and
reshuffling all the contents of the folder,checkin their pant zip..) ,inumerable
times. I dint feel like doin any of those. Maybe I was too eager to rush into the
interview room and finish it off for the sake of my starved tummy, whose growls had
now assumed dangerous proportions or because I was so confidence
personified (or a bit of both maybe!).

There were 3 dudes in the AC filled room. All of them looked pretty
disinterested n exhausted.I identified the extreme 2 as the ppt
dudes. The ol' man was comfortably perched at the left end of the table, facing
me.The "slightly" younger dude was working away furiously on his lap-top. The
man in them middle (middle man)was the one who ,I thought, would ask me the bulk of the questions. And so he did.

Me: (Opening the door), excuse me sir?
All 3 in unision: Yes Yes, come come!!

Me: God evening Sirs (managed yet another broad, 32-bit smile of mine)!
All: Good evening..er.. Vishwanath. Please sit down. Sorry to keep you waitin
for so long!

Me: (smilin)Sir, its ok. Its worth waitin for a company like yours.
I couldnt help marvelling at myself for such an effortless, spontaneous ,
straight-faced,white lie. I mentally gave myself a pat on the back.

Middle man : (lookin disinterested in my comment as he glanced through my
resume ,at least he appeared to do so)
" So, u are from meta . wat type of job do u want?"(Sir , basically an
investment banking profile wont be bad.)

Me: "I am interested in the marketing profile that you offer."

Middle man:(sounding serious) " Actuaaally, we dont have any vacancy or
requirements in that profile.Any other profile?

Me: "Sir, I have given mfg as the next preference."

Middle man: "hmm... Actuallly even that seems to be difficult." (Sheesh..Was
this some kind of an employment exchange office.)

Me: (sounded undaunted): " Sir,anything remotely connected with mfg or meta
would also be interesting."

Ol' man:( His debut in the interview): Tell me abt...(middle man cuts him
off).. obviously the Q was " tell me something about urself?". A Q which many
dread the most and the need behind so many countless personality-development
classes and cramming "know-urself" notes.

I was just about to open my mouth when middle man (obviously feelin left
out) ,asked
" So , u r prepared for any thing our company offers,huh?"

Me: "Yes sir.It would be a very rewarding association, no matter wherever I
work in ur organization" (Jhoot boley Kauva kaatey!)

young man: (finally breaking his mouna-vrat): " You dont mind travellin also?
Because v have a plant comin up in this state X(one of the "relatively new
states" he mentioned)."

Me:"Yes sir, i dont mind it at all.It would be a new learning experience for
me.New place, new people"

young man: " Good.The profile in the new plant is of Y mfg, (then he went about
the
intricacies.. blah blah..given a chnace i would have yawned there itself.)

middle man: " Tell me something about his state X?

This simply wasnt a test of my geography knowledge.There was something more to
it , I realized by the expression on their faces. something said that these
dudes had already made up their minds on their final list and the were just
playing around with me, giving it the semblance of a casual hr interview so dat
I wouldnt return to hostel disappointed. True realization descended " Vishwesh
u r not getting thru, by any stretch of ur imagination. its over." everything
was over. To bad dude!!

Everything after that ..well.. seemed ordinary, even though it was normal Q-A.

Nevertheless,I politley gave them all they wanted on state X.


ol' man (still not satisfied wid the talk, it was already 8pm): Why do u want
this profile ?"

I built up some fundas somehow conecting meta wid the work in the profile. (No
matter wat the situation,the bluffing continued relentlessly.)

more followed on wat would be the ideal material for a car in terms of the
cost,properties etc if they were to make low-budget one.

I dug out my vast meta prowess. suggested a whole lot of new materials. they
appeared satisfies.
But I wasnt getting thru. that was the bottomline.

middle man: : " Do u have any Q's??"
I wasnt in a mood to ask anything . But I asked them about the allied activities of the organization, their dealings, their recent mergers and acquistions if any (displaying the curiosity of a loyal,retail shareholder.)

i shook my head blankly at the answers, couldnt wait to get the hell outta the place asap.

middle man: " thanks a lot. have a nice day"(shook hands)
Me: (smilin) "thank you sirs."

20 minutes of timepass had ended.

I was the penultimate candidate. I felt sorry for the dude after me. He would soon discover y.

my first "kela" of the placement season!


Regards

Vishwesh

Life ke fundae

It was our 3-credit Economics class.
Most of these Eco classes are a concoction of dry, mundane theory and outrageously bad PJs. I discovered even in the first class itself, that the prof was an expert at giving real- funde/quotes.

The pick of them are here: Read on...

"If you do not get good sleep you are suffering from inso-mania ( insomnia he meant)."

.For a good professional (lol)
" Dream at night, not at sight."

." As an individual, I want to have a good career. Please note I said career, not carrier."

." You see, Each person in the organization is working "as" an asset. 

Please note ,it is "asset" not "ass". Both are different words."


. "Humour is needed in my class otherwise we will walk and talk like zombies(and
shows it with live demo)."

. "A company should work for customer satisfaction and sales growth simultaneously. Like a movie where the hero is fighting the villan and later singing romantic duet with the
heroine."

.You see, these are the 7 principles of management. Buckosh(Because) you are the
manger, not damager!

.You see, Everyone wants profit, I dont want to live a life of celibacy.(????)

. A leader should be dynamic, dont confuse with dynamite.

. A country is poor Buckosh it is poor.

. The AIDA priciple is necessary for marketing. Read it carefully, the last etter is not 'S' it is 'A'.

. A product should be packaged well, 

Buckosh old wife in new saree will always
be in demand. (His version of "old wine in new bottle.")

. You see, 50 years back americans were telling " Be careful with your food or
Indians will take it." Now they say " be careful with your job, Indians will take it."


Regards

Vish

"Guest talk or Ghost talk?"

Guest lectures are the quintessential ingredients of any great technical event. Arranging for an expert to give a talk on a particular subject is a tough job no doubt. Making the students(read as 'audience') sit throughout the talk is an even tougher task. Of all events the lecture event shows an exponential decrease in student strength, much to the chagrin of the teachers. The students, quite naturally, feel that anything that comes up in the talk is next to Greek n Latin.

One such example was the technical event of our department. Two experts were invited for guest lectures. One from a reputed science college(institute) in Banglore and the other from an organization which boasts of being the world leader in electrical products. Both of them were expected to come by the same train from Banglore and so they did. I was to receive them at somwhere around 5 in the morning (the day when the event was set to kick off)which meant it was a complete nightout for me. Not difficult for a nocturnal like me !

The train was half an hour behind schedule and since I didnt have the slightest inkling of how their faces looked like, I held placards of "NIT welcomes mr X and Mr y to Trichy", hoping to find them. It happened! They found me! I introduced myself and lead them, ploughing through the crowd to the entrance where our car was waiting.

After that I dont remember much apart from the fact that there was an absolute shower of technical knowledge from both sides. It was clearly evident from their talk that they were meeting each other for the first time.

People who are really into "tech or research" inside a campus are real charcaters to watch out for. Inside the car:

Mr X: "So, Mr y, how is that your organization grows by leaps and bounds?"

Mr y: (A short pause) " Hmm, its 'coz we have built up a pool of ours. Good labs spending, (points to me) students , emphasis on research work and more. Then blah blah...

I discovered just form 5 min of talk that Mr X was the most animating type and Mr y was Mr Reticent. Mr X was very spontaneous and instinctive while Mr y almost took a lifetime to ponder over questions thrown at him by X. To be frank Y did not exactly appeal to me as the person who would go on to give a refreshing guest talk. Nevertheless, both had a sound knowledge of their respective fields.

X specialized in nanomaterial while Y dealed extensively in mechanical metallurgy.

Mr X: 'Sir do you know Mr Z?"

Mr Y: (A big long pause which prompted me to think that the guy had reached saturation point). Suddenely there was a reply. " Mr Z? Certainly rings a bell in my mind . Isnt he the one who deals in fatigue mechanics.

Mr X:(overjoyed that atleast there is something common which they can talk about) Yes he is the one. (doles out scoops of praises for Z). "He also works on amorphous systems, the effect of crack propogation on the texturing properties of crytals.

amorphous substances,cyclotronic behaviour , crack behavious in semiconductors, Ti alloys , use of polymers in nano came up.

As luck would have it , we reached college and drove straight to the guest house.

Next, just an hour before the event began, I had the privilege of having breakfast with the 2 gentlemen. This time it was a complete non-technical session , maybe because the gentlemen had enough of each other.

mr Y: (for a change he was questioning) Trichy is an unusual location for a college? Why is the college situated here ? what may be the signifance?

Myself: ( It was a such a dumb question I thought, as if I wanted them to build a college on this barren peace of land far away from civilization. But the need of the hour was to give fundaas.)

' Sir , its because there are quite a few hardcore tech industries in this area. We have BHEL nearby and blah blah.. (mentioned the names of a few more NIT's and explained to him that many of them were in the most weirdest places on earth)" Also explained to him about the impact of the industrial growth in the area on the lives of the ppl in and around Trichy.

Both seemed satisfied.

mrX: (not wanting to be left behind): "there are so many temples around ? but many of the capitals of kings who ruled south india are almost non-existent unlike the rulers of north india?

myself: (A feeling of "uh oh! screwed" but kept the smile on and blabbered endlessely):

"Sir in those days, south ndian kings had a penchant for building temple-cities and not big cities. This made it convenient for them to tour the whole city in very short time. (gave some fundaas on north indian rulers. somehow Shivaji came into the talk. I pumped more and more of history and rulers.)

They were enjoying the convo. Breakfast ended.

We walked our way to the lecture hall. Some more amusing questions and some more mindless fundas but reinforced by apprpriate facts. A prof intercepted us on the way. We reached the hall just in time for the start of the tech event.



And true to nature, I slept thru most of the guest talks.



luv n Regards

Vishwesh

"Words of Wisdom"

Things you shouldnt forget!

Brush Daily- So that you may live.

Bathe daily- so that others may live

For heaven's sake , please dont forget to zip up your pants! Just imagine, if you were on stage to give a speech to an audience of a thousand and your pant stays unzipped, you'll be the town's new clown.

Greet someone only if you really want to do it otherwise it sounds pretty artificial .

Dont wear a sad face unless something really catastrophic has happened! Have a smile ready on your face, it reflects your personality.

Dont smile or laugh for everything, people will feel absolutely sure that you are a lunatic!

Dont get Angry(this is the toughest part). If you are , by any chance, breathing fire :

go to a secluded place or the bathroom and vent your frustration on the mirror (like using the sacred F-word). count 1 to 1000 (dont cheat ok). Take 3 deep breaths (as in yoga)Talking to urself in front of the mirror wont help a bit, build up conversation even with the most reticent of guys by picking up something common between you two.

Dont give a person an impression that you are being friends with him/her just for getting your work done. Wrong attitude!!

Never stay idle! indulge urself into any goddamn activity. So wat if you arent as good as Dan Brown? Doesnt stop you from blogging ,does it?

Dont take anyone for granted, he/she may be the last straw to clutch, if at all you were in danger.

Dont hesitate to ask questions for fear that people may brand you as dumb or the question is too trivial. The fact that you have asked the question obviously means that you wanna know more than others do.

Presentation(both work and looks) is of utmost importance. Get over ur clumsiness, right now! Remember, Good looking ppl are less in vogue than well-dressed people.

Dont talk too much, mouth cancer found a new way to attack you!

And finally, whatever you do, just Be cool and composed. If you feel you are stressed out, start blogging like I do(it sure is a reliever, tried n tested).

Luv n regards

Vishwesh

"Materials do matter"

Funny one! this image isnt it?
It just wins hands down in my personal top ten rankings of the best caricatures, I have seen so far!

Each of us in our own way is "material"istic.
More so me,'coz thats my field of study.

I m sure the iron age man never got a chance to have a face-off with a certain regular phenomenon called "cycle test".

Writing a cycle test(CT) is like visiting a temple. A person goin to the temple simply reinforces the fact that he believes in god, irrespective of whether he goes to the temple for paying obeisance to the lord (or his ladies). Likewise, a bloke writes a CT merely as a reminder to himself that he is still in engg, whether he likes it or not. But ,both experiences,according to me, are spiritually enriching.
(Infact, the guy who prays before his "cycles" or sem exam stands a better chance of getting his prayers answered than the one in the temple ,'coz he's the more honest and serious of the two ! )

The cycle test times follow a very stereotypic and predictable pattern.The last week is chacterised by 13th hour finishing followed by confusion among the junta on what actually is the portion coupled with an very intense last week of study,which we are so much accustomed to, by now. It requires us to summon all our years of 'board exam experience" to sit and cram anything n everything in the notes without actually understanding or learning much. Amazing ain't it?

Either you are 'relatively' screwed or 'relatively' flyin high. You just gotta have a peep at the book just becoz your dept mate is doing it and your worried you'll be the ultimate loser.

This, when the students are seen thriving on class notes xeroxed from the top student of the class who sincerely sits on the first bench,day in and day out and takes on every piece of "knowledge" that the teacher passes on to us beloved pupils who are already flat over the desks.

There's one thing common in all our classes, books are "prescribed" by all gurus but the mere mention of the word library has everyone gasping, as if they are gonna be guillotined if they go there. 'Coz u never get your book. Dust-laden stacks pregnant with torn,useless 40-yeard old books are just good enough to get a nice ,cold sneeze out of you when u enter the stack rooms (though I would say that the reading room is never short on "Women's Era" mags.).
If the "prescriptions" aren't available in the market the "xerox" process is followed.



Regards

Vishwesh

Kettle!

Guides:
.This one's on our metallurgy department symosium mettle(modified to kettle, lol) .

.Hai daa is one of our profs.

.Ravan and dheeru are my dept mates (names modified).

. staf-adv is for staff-advisor, Co-Tr is for the Co-Treasure and Co-Ed is for Co-Editor (thats me!) of this event.



Came Feb,the month of no lectures and all symposiums in NITT (our college).
A few "meta guys" had already started pondering over it at the fag end of the previous sem . Their symp "KETTLE" was supposed to be scheduled last. So there it was!But there was someone who was really ecstatic abt Kettle and it was none other than HaiDaa.The very dynamic HaiDaa was the staff-Advisor for kettle. He was in many ways the right person, due to the plethora of contacts he owned.
The next sem dawned and shoulders started drooping under the weight of the heavy-duty cpc schedule.There was absolutely no semblance of a whisper about kettle, in these few months, untill HaiDaa woke up from deep slumber and then spoke aboutt the royal constitution of committees which had taken place last sem.

"Committees?" someone asked.

"What for?" and then a query bank arose.

"Its for Kettle,dude" replied a smart alec.

"Oh, are we having Kettle this year also? Sorry ,totally forgot about it?" said person1.

Apparently a few more days passed and the cpc schedule had just turned into a mere "come-give-go" formality after all.HaiDaa presumed that the time was right to strike the red-hot iron. His first meeting was scheduled at 4.30 pm and only a sprinkling of students had gathered.One of the biggest kelas before Kettle and the inevitable sign of things to come!

"Ok, must be busy with cpc's!" he thought.He looked around the class. "Strength is less,hmmm" as his voice descended to his customary mumble and then he give a smile to "mama" sitting in the first bench.He then looked at his watch and realized that it was worthless waitin for more benches to fill up."Anyway, Kettle is scheduled to take place in March and we have assembled here to chart out("work out" to be precise) the plans. The core comittees have been formed and once again we will go by what we did last Kettle (and what did we do last time?). We would like the whole thing started as early as possible, seeing the pace with which other dept's have started their preparations. i think you must have identified a few areas for getting the sponsorship money and provided we have "pooled" up sufficiently, we can get some good technical sessions. The second years can work for the sponsorship work since they have the time, the pre-finals are busy with their cpc's."
He then glanced around.Wiped the imaginary perspiration of his forhead.Found a bakra.Gave his customary grin and called out the 2nd year by his second name.The chap has no option but to respond (in silence).
HaiDaa then stretched his session like a rubber band, by bringing up the "exposure part of Kettle, rather than the technical aspect of it" , blah ,blah..... It was probably the first of such HaiDaa sessions on Kettle that these 2nd years had attended. The pre-finals had a fair idea on what HaiDaa would speak on. But excess of anything is too bad and he was stretching it to elastic limits. It required just a shrug from the very charismatic,red-bagged Raavan who was till then silent, to finish off proceedings. So the agenda had been set. After all deliberations, Kettle was finally getting shape!
Future meeting and sessions were organized, now on a more frequent basis. Each meeting to decide when the next meeting would be held and what would be its agenda. But, the cold underbelly of the "metas" dept raised its ugly head. The msg "Kettle meeting at 5'o clock" came to be treated with utter disdain and acquired the status of "the most deleted msg" in all cell phones.The strength dwindled, session by session, much to HaiDaa's horror. And so did the interest levels, till they hit rock-bottom.
"All right, the unimportant members are not present. It does not matter." he said to reassure himself."At least the core members are here.Thats enough"Then the session began on spons, exposure, "budget" and finally on Kettle and its guest lectures. On the next meeting many core members appeared late. HaiDaa acepted them, though not with outstretched arms but with a bit of a gingery comment."Core members, the meeting was scheduled at 5." Looked at watch. He then eyed them , though not with anger and permitted them into the class. Some duties were assigned for the members to look after.The talks about fixing guest lectures on select topics had also run into bad weather and the students whom he requested to do so had not responded quick enough for his liking. Absolutely no work had kick-started and it was beginning to show on HaiDaa. They had tested his patience.
The next meeting was just the ideal prick needed to burst the growing balloon of discontent which had built up in HaiDaa over the sparsely attended sessions which were incresingly turning out to be in the normal cpc-mode (come-give-go)and the zero groundwork done. HaiDaa went all guns blazing.It had been an open invitation to the whole of the "metas" dept and only 20 odd had turned up. He chose almost every core member. One at a time.He had obviusly been pissed with the apathy of the "metas" junta and was giving vent to the anger which had agglomerated with each session.
"Your contribution to Kettle has been epsilon, not zero, but close to it.You can only talk for different web designs but when it comes to work, you do nil" he fired the first salvo at dheeru. "Very good ,keep it up!" He thundered. Shook is head and supported his forehead on his fingers, "mourning-style".A slight sarcastic grin translated into a off-color face as he spoke." Last kettle, the then third yrs were very inactive and unfortunately the trend continues." Stops. Wipes out the imaginary sweat again and grimaces a bit." Inspite of this, we had success because of the work done by the then second yrs and the final yrs.I am sorry to say that the overall feedback this time ,mostly from the third yrs,is very discouraging. Infact, there has been none from your side."" The dept is ready to extend support in any form. But this is the response you give. Its a big shame, not only to you, but to all of us." Again head in "mourning-style." "Very good ,keep it up. I appreciate your honesty, very good."I couldnt stop being amused. It had been a while since HaiDaa had spoken in this tone. "If you continue in this fashion,there wont be, Kettle , next yr. It would be doubtful; I wont be there next time around." I could hear a few sighs' of relief from the current third years'. " You will be free to do what you like. And please do not give me those cycle-test excuses. I know how many of you take it seriously." Then he proceeded to give the Ed a sharp dressing down. After finishin it off,he trained his guns on the Co-Ed, who was enjoyin every bit of it like a soap-opera. "And the so-called Co-Ed you are supposed to help him with it."He continued his fire-breathing session to pull up another second yr who had not even given his database info, to be done at the start of the third sem ( the height of laziness! disgusting!).

Another sigh of "I appreciate your honesty and your commitment .Keep it up. Well done."
"This is my last meeting with you and hereafter I wouldnt want anyone to disturb me."Somehow it was concluded.
The next few weeks passed on well, except for the fact that none was workin in co-ordination wid the other,leading to a comedy of errors and ultimately the blame game continued,the Co-Ed being the sufferer on most occasions who couldnt help wondering wat was wrong in his work. As a result of this, heavy weather of the given work was made.Guys went on a regular basis to HaiDaa to get fired.
Amidst this, the finishing touches to the souvenir were given and sent to the press, which had the most primitive of comps,belonging to the prehistoric times, i guess (Everything was transferred using a Cd ,not a pen drive.)
A bright second yr meta, the much-rubbished Co-Ed and the Co-Tr teamed up to design the T-shirt and the caption for it.

Regards

Vishwesh

Festember!!1

Festember,our college cutural fest, was eagerly awaited by most of us with, well.. with mixed emotions I should say. Will it click or not? Even if it clicks ,is it gonna be that interesting to last 3 days? Well there be enuf events to keep us entertained?
"One thing to watch out is the informals," I thought.Dedication proxies blaring out of the "jukeboxes" are always the order of the day whatever be the event,at least in our college.

Then there was this sleepy faced,short guy who with mike in hand,time n again was exhorting the crowds to " chill up", then realized that no one was taking notice. He was quick to change it to "chill out guys". That was not the end of it.
Close to the informals stage, on its left were a few stalls set up.No Not food stalls;they didnt look like either. One stall had empty soft drink bottles. So, they are game stalls, I drew a conclusion.
Not a single soul ventured even close to that area.
Mr short couldnt stand this plight.Again with mike in hand,he started of with " Guys y dont you have a look at the games stalls? They are all for you" (Jhoot boley kauva kaatey).
Then there was a spectaled guy (S-trek)who wanted 5 girls to come on stage to eat the (humble) pie,infact he was begging and pleading " Please I want 5 of you!", "just 5 of you". No response.Then he whittled his demand, " Ok 4 of you please,only 4 yaar". No one budged."just 5 minutes yaar,5 minutes". To no avail. Then he started calling them by their names. Success at last! "Thanks for saving my face" he must have told them at the end of it.
Come festember and everyone's keeping his I-card close to his chest. One small mistake and its taa-taa to your precious,well earned mess bill savings. Personally, I think the crowds werent disappointed by the food stalls. Each of us relishing the food(breakfast,lunch,dinner)as if we do not have to pay for it.Sounds good ,actually, the I-card serves us better than the credit card.You dont need to swipe anywhere. But its less secure though. You dont have a password, just your roll no.
Whatever,basically, it was "Feast"ember for most of us. Anyways, as I was digging into my plate, I got news. Raavan was back in town (from Chennai). So wats the big deal?wasnt he goin to come today morning? I asked. Even then I thought of just meeting him , u know, just formality, when did you come? What the hell were you doing over there?(Too bad you missed 3 days;day 0,day 1,day2 of festember! lol).
Raavan might not know too much about cricket,but he sure knows how to bowl over the 'maidens' big time! He has carved a special place for himself as the pin-up boy of the meta dept.And he goes about his job in a businessman-like manner. Be it his beloved red bag that he carries everywhere or be it his dressing sense,he has propelled himself to the tremendous heights of modern trend-setting. The post of the vice-presi of R-club is just the perfect icing on the cake for him.Well, Raavan was back to form, rejuvenated after his trip to Chennai. Fresh, alive and kickin, he had another guy,a junior from Chennai by his side.They were sittin under a fancy umbrella near the maggi stall. He was workin his magic on a dame. Now for the best epoch-making part It continued for a record 3-4 hours on the trot, mate! With all food stalls around him, he didnt even feel like taking a break, nor did she! The were in their own element, hello can we forget festember for a while? By the way, she too belongs to R-club and she belongs to "scorpion" dept. All I can say is that I n v in the dept are really happy for you Raavan! This really proves that you have come a long way since your Mumbai love debacle,you have got over that unpleasant experience .Thats now firmly behind you and you have moved forward in life thanks to your determination.

Regards

Vishwesh