Saturday, October 27, 2007


Nasik is a weird city..Its a complete contrast to mumbai. The people, their lifestyle, the cool weather and lots of other stuff (except off course the pot- holed roads in some parts which are a trademark feature of mumbai). Everyone there seems to own a car; at least an indica. And I never saw a single signal there, forget traffic jams!
We had 40 odd days on our hands to make the most of our stay in the city. My day began at 6.30 (yes!daily!).A hostleler's nightmare as you may call it! I would be woken up by a sudden knock on the door. The funniest part being that I still havent figured out who used to do it..probably one of the "other" room guys. Fact is I never really gave a damn as long as the person regularly kept waking me up on time. Our induction seesions were scheduled at 8 am each day and the company bus would ferry us half n hour in advance so that we could swipe our I-cards in time before the rush started.
The first week was a bit of a pain although we were given 2 shirts and a bag and the "T-shirt and jeans" dress-code was enforced till we got our uniforms. they called it the senior management week as all the VPs, Sr. VPs,Heads..blah blah from each function( HR, Finance,marketing, product development..see i remember things) addressed us with fundoo powerpoint presentations which failed to make any sense to us. There are times u feel the company wastes its precious moolah giving these intelectual blabbermouths fat pay packets. But then these are the blokes who conceptualise. They work out the way ahead for the company ,which is something very important.
The common mantra in their "feel good" presentations being "You are the young,dynamic minds,brimming with knowledge who have entered the industry when the india story is just unfolding and rising. You are really fortunate. We wish we were 30 yrs younger so that we could be in your place". One just got the feeling that these big dudes had copied each others presentations the previous night ,just like engineering students copied assignments.

Ya right! Bright, young minds (I have heard that before, the first day at engg college when someone called us that in his speech)! They wanted to project us as the privileged lot in order to create an "I-am-soo-jealous-of-you" atmosphere. Crap! Utter crap! Why would a Sr.VP wish to be an engineer in the first place? Anyways,each day was packed with 3 breaks (morning tea- sumptuous lunch- snack n tea) and 4 senior management talks. Each of them spoke as if they had a vacancy awaiting us in their departments and we just had to pick n choose. Being a perennial back-bencher by default and design I slept through a few sessions(at times waking up my immediate neighbours by snoring loudly). Such sessions also help bring out the best drawing talents( mostly in the back rows). The funniest(and most eagerly awaited) part of these sessions was the "Audience Queries'" phase which followed the presentations. A thousand hands would go up and the poor guy on stage would be at the recieving end of a barrage of outrageously stupid questions.
Some of them which could be touted as automatic entries into the guiness book of records for the "World's Most stupid query"
Girl to the marketing VP:
"Sir, I think the Tv commercial you are showing is not very nice.It is not telling anythng about the product. It only focuses on the man and woman in the helicopter.(Lady, he knows his job better than you)

" Sir,thank you for the wonderful talk. I just wanted to ask what is the greenfield project you talked about. Is it the name you gave to your new environment-friendly plant." (Give me a break!!)

Even better:
Guy to the HR head
" Sir, do we have any chance of a overseas posting."
"Yes u do, Zambia! Nice country, nice people"

The ultimate:
" Sir,I am really very happy with your talk and I enjoyed it (??). I dont have any question in mind. I want to work with this company for entire life.



1 comment:

Unknown User said...

Lolzz...I am not an engineer dude...but so many times I can identify with you! Keep penning