'Maru'vellous

Page 220 of Changu's 300 page biography, A Best seller (to the chaat-waalahs in mumbai)

Nov-mid:(Somewhere, in some part of the country, in some B-school campus. which is not necessarily your's - Disclaimer )

Changu waited outside with bated breath and sweaty palms, awaiting his turn for the next interview. The Cluster-1 tension and nervous energy was palpable and beginning to show on the faces of all 10 people sitting beside him, competing with him for the same company. Nothing from the dress-rehearsal interviews would have matched up to this pressure of expectations today. The firm was the most preferred recruiter on campus. Their India operation was based out of Chennai and they were into the niche area of Tea technology and consulting. They had dethroned Big "Mc". No marks for guessing who they were. They were none other than "Maru T Stall group" or Big Maru as was referred in the college lingo over the years.

"Mr. Changu, Please come in " called out a man politely, sticking his head outside the room. As Changu entered the room, the fresh aroma of Tea gripped and flirted with his nose. There were 2 persons inside. Both of whom had come down to the campus 3 weeks ago to give their pre-placement talk. Changu recognized one of the founders as Maru T. His's mind took the quick kitkat break and soon a flash-back followed.

4 weeks back:

Notice on the placement site:

Big Maru ,the very popular group is here for major roles. Please feel free to ask questions since this would be instrumental in getting strategic roles for us in tea-making.
Time: 4:00-6:00 pm
Dress Code: Lungi

The co-ordinator at the PPT opened the PPT (for the 52nd time) with: "Hi, today we have with us our most preferred recruiter, Maru T group on campus. Hope you will know a thing or 2 from him about tea stalls. Without further ado, I hand over charge to Maru.

Maru T,then, had stepped in to give probably the most 'senti' and inspiring speech ever heard in the history of the college placements.
He had been advised that all Classrooms were no-smoking zones, which robbed the audience off the heroic cigarette-flicking act of Maru. Nevertheless, they witnessed his goggle-wearing act which drew huge cheers and whistles from the audience. Then followed the speech which has every soul in tears. (even the placement committee member had thrown away his 'absent & penalty' register and started to sob).

Maru: "Friends, I had a very humble beginning like most of you, no IIT tag, no CFA level achievements, no high-flying GPAs etc. I was here 22 years back, at the very same place as you, attending some god-forsaken PPT like all of you are doing right now and completing my Marketing Assignment sheet. Alas, I was caught and fined a princely sum of Rs 500. I did not have the money then to pay the fine but that did not deter me from gaining expertise in my 'cogg'nitive skills.
I could not open simple T-accounts in Financial accounting for DEBIT and CREDIT. But 22 years hence, I advise people on opening million-dollar Tea accounts.
I did not study marketing but I can position well.
I was always the subject of cold-calling in all Probability & Statistics classes. Today I decide probabilities and nullify hypothesis.
I decided one fine day, to start a company whose valuations would equal all the fine penalties I have paid so far.

I know each of you is aspiring to be a Maru T. We ourselves need young and fresh minds (and hands) in tea making. So if u have it in you, our doors and stalls are open. Any questions?

(His talk was interrupted by his mobile which rang twice. His ringtone was the remixed version of the retro-hit " Maru T, r u with me?".


A hand went up. It was a chick.
"Sir, what makes you come to work daily?"

Maru: WTF... What randomness and globe is this?? This is not an 'organizational dynamics' class. (Signalling to his side-kick) Please don't shortlist her.

Tsunami Jr. was itching to ask a question. "Sir, what is the selection procedure like?"
Maru: Good question. Our criterion is passion and excitement of wanting to become a Maru T. If you don’t exhibit it, I am sorry this is not the place for you.
Our choice is simple – The candidate should not exhibit characteristics of a Day-1’er.

A week later, after the ppt, the shortlists were out. Around 20 of them had got through. There was disappointment galore among many others at not being able to make it. Changu was beaming with joy. He was one among the 20 and was overjoyed!

At the interview:
Maru: "Sit down" he said. Unlke most interviewers whose standard favourite was "Tell me about urself" he asked " So what are your hobbies/interests?"

Changu: "Err… Sir. Giving CAT, filling up multiple CVs, uploading them, sending them to companies, filling up company forms and awaiting shortlists.

Maru looked stunned.


To be continued...

Converted !!

More often than not, the lull before the storm causes the real flutter.So was the case with me,given the 2 month hiatus between the IIM group discussion-interviews and the final shortlists. To be fair, most of my interviews were akin to "first day-first shows" which meant that the process would be spread over a period of nearly a month to accomodate the large sea of shortlisted candidates.
Even as the final interviews were still on, speculations on the possible date of the release of the final results took root and spread like wildfire. The mere mention of the "probable dates" had the aspiring students as much rivetted to the Pagalguy (PG) site as the spectacular India-SL world cup final.
Although the logical self in me restrained me from checking the PG site to avoid the unnecessary hype & hoopla; the whole buzz surrounding the aftermath of the GD-PIs was too tempting to reist, especially for my mother. Each day would start with the same-old,dreaded question from her.
" Any news?". She would ask
The question to which I would give a shrug and a nod in the negative. The frequent "NOs" somehow made me feel awkward and guilty given the fact that she was dead sure I would convert all my IIM calls and that it was just a matter of time. I wasn't half as sure as her. The fact that I had got IIM calls had only just begun to sunk in now.

IIM A was a 50-50 chance. Not that I had screwed it up. But no one seemed to have performed badly.
IIM C had generated a feel-good feeling in me. Nothwithstanding any twists & turns in the final shortlists; deep inside, I knew I had aced "C" like no one before. Just the official confirmation was needed.

IIM L, I and the 4 news IIMs were a breeze.
I went about my work as usual just to ensure I was engaged & busy and had no time to sit & worry like many on the PG site.

A close look at the PG site would be enough to tell you that a major proportion of posts on the CAT forums are those of desperate people who whine about just about anything from their poor past grades to their bad CAT scores to the look of the interview panel they faced.
They speculate about their chances based on some really trivial observations thus making a mountain of a mole-hill.
( " He dint offer me a toffee while I was leaving. Everyone else got 1 at least. I am screwed. I am screwed",
" They never checked my files", they dint fine me interesting".
" He cleaned his ears while I was answering his questions".
" He scratched his @&*. I am a failure. Boo hooo !!"

Somehow, all at once, everyone seem to have messed up his/her chances of converting a IIM call! There are ,however, a few exceptions in this gloom of pessimism. And from a few such composed voices emanating from the forums it was known that 18th April would be D-day!

April 17th,the night: A casual log onto the PG site (Curiosity always kills the cat)at around 12. Disappointly, none of the IIMs had come out with their shortlists (IIMs and their surprise element!).

XLRI had!
I followed the link provided in their site, keyed-in my details and waited in anticipation. The page refreshed itself, so did my brain. The merciless XAT paper, 99 percantile, the interview, the old man on the panel etc appeared & vanished within 2 sec. Finally the page that mattered the most appeared. It furnished all details including the most important one - " Was I in or out?" And the decision read as under:



!! CONGRATULATIONS !!


You have been selected for BM Programme for which you have applied to XLRI Jamshedpur.
Please wait for the official letter from the Chairperson, Admissions, XLRI Jamshedpur.

I confirmed it a couple more times just to be sure before telling the others about it. It was a mini-victory and given the unpredictability and weirdness associated with XLRI final calls, this was no mean achievement. I gave myself a small pat on the back, mentally. This would be a insurance, good enough to offset any depression if I dint convert any of the IIM calls.
Most people on the PG forum had promised themselves they wudnt sleep until they had seen the A,B & C final shortlists. Maybe it was too ridiculous a thought or I was too sleepy ;I dint bother checking any further and had a good night's sleep.

April 18th, 9:30 am: On my dek, sipping on some elaichi-tea, I brushed aside my work-dairy and opened the IIM A webpage (Our company's server-filters arent too fond of PG forums).
Today there was a new link under the PGP admissions heading. I clicked on it and fed in my details. No expectations, no fear of failure, no heart-breaks. And IIM C was always there to bank on ( I had made up my mind rather covertly that C was my ultimate source of refuge.) The page took not less than a few seconds to flash the following details:



Indian Institute of Management, Ahmedabad
Admission Status : Post-Graduate Programme in Management (PGP 2011-2013 batch), IIMA

Name VISHWANATH

Congratulations! You have been selected for admission to PGP (2011-2013 batch), IIMA. Please indicate your decision by e-mail.


The casualness of the moment melted away in thin air. The elaichi-chai was still swirling inside threatened to fall out of my open mouth. I sat staring at the PC in disbelief as if it were news of Katrina proposing to me. Shell-shocked, I scanned every word of the last 2 sentences esnuring it wasnt a typing error on part of IIM A.
For a moment, everything else around me seemed to come to a grinding halt.

Thinking it was the old GDPI-shortlisting link (such errors are common place), I entered my details again. The msg was the same. Out of disbelief I repeated the exercise a few more times. No change, same verdict!

How could it change??
Realization dawned.
India's premier B-school had finally decided that from among the 2-lakh odd candidates who had competed in the CAT, I was worthy enough to make it through to its hallowed portals.
" A ratio of 766 students per seat." my mind computed instantly. The mathematician inside me refused to die down even though CAT was over ages ago.
It was indeed a big deal after all. Beating 765 others for a seat in IIM-A is no joke. I had come up with something really special!

I was still in a stupor of utter disbelief, completely oblivious to the hectic daily activity around me.
Tears started to brim in my eyes and tried hard to sneak out. It wasnt wise to burst out in full public cognizance. Not that boys cant cry (Although women like to belive its their monopoly of sorts. They forget, we do hav feelings too.)
Give vent to my feelings, I certainly did. I dashed off to the nearest washroom,locked myself in and poured it all out.
A million thoughts engulfed me then - buying the CAT admission form at Rajkot during one of the longer supplier visits, test preps,mocks,CAT,my percantile,the shortlist to the interview stages, the interview,the cut-throat competition, the sacrifices that went into all these etc.
After composing myelf, I called up my mother in Banglore. She answered my 2nd call. Her reaction was palpable excitement and it was something she couldnt hav expressed in words.
I turned and walked to "Saab" who was working away furiously on his lappie. He was overjoyed to say the least; so was "chits", "yogi","amma","shaktiman","tame tiger","guru","alok" and many others. Slowly but surely, the news made its way through the whole dept in Kandivli. It was indeed wonderful that everyone else was enjoying and revelling in my success and it made the occasion all the more special.

By late afternoon, IIM C had declared their shortlists and I had made it there too! To be honest, thats wasnt a surprise.

Things were happening so fast,so soon. It was going to be really tough digesting the whole run of events right from last night.

The resignation letter had already been typed in my head

The feeling had just started to sink in now...

Regards

Vish

CATastrophy-3

Changu was over the moon. He had Group discusion & Personal interview (GD & PI) calls from 7 of the 26 prestigious Bharatiya Institutes of Management (BIMs). But out of the 7 calls he had set his eyes on the 3 BIMs which he thought were a cut above the rest; BIM Jhumritalaya (BIM J), BIM Gorakhpur (BIM G), BIM Kolhapur (BIM K) (BIMs).
Accolades & greetings poured in from all quarters. His cellphone hadn't stopped ringing since last Monday. He felt like a true celebrity now. "Kaveri amma", the woman who lived next door in their village in remote UP (not visible on google earth), wanted tips on how she could train her 8-yr old 'Banku' for CAT2030. Tired & out of breath from his new-found celeb status, he fell on his bed a exhausted but satisfied man.

As he recollected his conversations on phone, one did catch his fancy. That of his girlfriend of 4 yrs, Changini. Of course there were minor differences between them, when she thought he gave more attention to the CAT than her. His marathon run of 5 CAT exams dint do him any favours. Now he had redeemed himself. Not 1 or 2 but 7 calls. " Now let's see what she says!" he said to himself with a wicked smile on his lips.

He had spoken to her the day before and noted with silent excitement that she would be alone for the next couple of days. It would be a perfect time to drop in at her place for a dinner date and much more.
But contrary to the ideas he had for the late evening at her house, a heated discusion on marriage followed.

Changu) Why dont u marry me? Damn u, I love you darling.
Changini) You haven't passed by short-list criteria.

Changu) WTF is dat?
Changini)I have spelled it out here on my blogpage. Who whoever passes the marriage shortlist criteria and scores a perfect 50 overall gets me.

changu) WAT?

She takes out her lappie and types in her blog-address which has her shortlist criteria. But the page refuses to open.

Mangu) Why doesnt the damn page open?
Manka) Too much net-traffic. Many of them are accessing it at once.Its been like this for the past couple of days.

Mangu) ???

Finally, the page opens displaying a lot of numbers.

Mangu) (Shell-shocked look on his face)What is that?
Manka) Those are the weightages for the individual component for the short-listing.

Boy) Components?? I thought I just had to love you.
Girl) No. you got it wrong. Look (She prints out the page and shows it to him.)

It reads as follows:

Changini's "husband" admission criteria

A total of 20 candidates will be shortlisted. Out of this, one very capable (rich,muscular,cute,loving,blah,blah1..) candidate wil be chosen as my husband. There are no reservations because I dont give a damn about a man's caste. All men are the same!! If you got a shock reading the first 3 lines, I advise you to read no further. Its gonna be equally atrocious (fair).


Criteria 1: Orientation (10%)
The applicant is male. (2 %)
..who is straight (5 %)
..straight with 1 or more relationships. (Pervert kahin kaa! 1 %)
.. straight with no relationships at all. (Get urself checked. 1 %)
..who would look at me even with beautiful women around (7 %)

Criteria 2: Family (10%)
Male with no siblings 4 marks
Male with pesky elder sister (2 marks beacuse we are not allowed to give negative marks)
Male with a younger bro/sis who can be bossed around (6 marks)
Male with a younger bro/sis and a mom who can be pushed around like hell
Male with a mom who watches the hindi soaps daily from 2pm - 10 pm (Pls dont bother to apply. This is keeping in mind the hazardous effect of such serials which spread their anti-bahu propaganda.)

Criteria 3: Salary ( 30% weightage)
A take-home of 50,000/month (4%)
A take home of 1,00,000/ month (4%)
A take-home of 3,00,000/month (4%)
A take-home of 4,00,00/ annum (screw you! You wont be considered even if you satisfy the other crietria.)

If you are baffled that the same weightage (4%) is given to different salary groups; please note "IT IS NOT A FLAW". It just proves that we are never satisfied with whatever you earn.

Criteria 4: Looks (25%)
Arjun Rampal look-alike (25%)
8-packs (15%)
All others with clean-shaven, disgusting, non-celeb looks(5%)
Geeks (keep off!)



Criteria 5: Household & other chores (12.5%)
Cooking + Taking care of our kids (not more than 2 of them!)+ washing & drying clothes (10%)
All the above and someone who doesn't mind carrying my shopping bag all over the mall and books the "Super-wednesday" show at the multiplex every week. (12.5%)
Only One or none of the above (0%)

Criteria 6: socializing & entertainment (12.5%)
Sings like Enrique + Guitarist + dances like Hrithik + can make me dance and someone who parties at least thrice a week (12.5%)
Other non-happening losers (Go get a life!)

The other 50% weightage would be would be for a "very personal interview" (VPI) which will include a dinner date at the Taj by the poolside. Its obvious about the bill payments, you dont have to wait for me to settle it. I am sure you are courteous enough.
And dont get any ideas during the VPI! If you try to get dirty I'll make your life miserable.
Learn how to behave with women.


Changu: Wat about love? I dont see it anywhere in your final criteria..WTF?
Changini: Oh ya! Forgot to tell you. It is used only to short-list for the very personal interviews (VPI). After that everyone is on an even keel. I have to be fair to everyone na, darling?

changu: ?????

He bangs his head against the wall.

He realized that getting GDPI calls from 7 BIMs and converting them wasnt as tough a battle as this one.

Regards


Vish

The IIM L interview experience

Coming close on the heels of the 2 biggies 'A' & 'C', the 'L' interview was supposed to be the last of 'em all. It would end the series of 4 interviews on the trot (5 in 9 days) and i had to ensure that I ended the week on a high. 'L' wasnt going to be a cake-walk ,so i had heard and read at different forums. Even though I had become a veteran of sorts at facing GDs & PIs, I egged myself on to focus more. Complacency was the last thing on my mind; there was precious little gap between the interviews to get over-confident.

So, 26th of Feb it was. The venue this time was "Sea Princess Hotel" in the western suburb of Juhu. A plush, 4-star hotel in Juhu, its a stone's throw away from the Juhu beach. Many people, including me, dont know such a hotel exits due to the presence of other giants in the same region like the 'Marriot', the 'Ramada', the 'Centaur' etc etc just like IIM L is dwarfed by the presence of IIM A,B,C et al (Terrific analogy!!).
The security man at the entrance dint even take the trouble of 'X-ray'ing my bag after knowing that I was an "IIM interview-wala".

I sat with a few others in the beautiful banquet hall (Read: 'L' waiting room)as the crowd trickled in slowly but surely. The morning session had got over. No one was willing to comment on how they had performed, if not positively. I saw around and noted that 50% of them had already accompanied me to 'A' & 'C'. Quite a few of us had become good friends, some of them on back-slapping terms.

We were divided into 6 groups (panels) each consisting of 7-8 candidates for GDs/PIs. I was in panel 5 with 6 others (including a guy whom I had met at my coaching classes. A tough, talkative nut to crack watever be the GD topic.). We were led to one of the posh hotel rooms. 2 small tables joined together and 7 chairs fairly close to each other (and some light music would have made it perfect) was the GD site. But first the essay writing

We were alloted about 15 minutes for it (L showing that they were far more generous than the others.). The topic - " All Government instituitons should come in the purview of RTI."
A good topic and a far cry from the not-so-ideal GD of 'C'. There was lots to write on - the RTI, its uses so far, examples, recent facts & figures, good points, flipsides etc. The script was well-reasoned out, structured & concluded well.
A word of advice - please be aware of recent happenings and develop opinions on it.
Watch loads of talk shows,debates, discussions - it helps bigtime.

Most of us finished within the stipulated time (for want of more space to write. The guy beside me had increased his font-size deliberately.). Our papers were then taken away. The panel of 2 men instructed us to start our discussion saying we had 10.5 minutes for the same (7*1.5 = 10.5 min. Got the logic?). They then pretended to read through our 'essays'.

The GD kicked off on a brisk note as the spectacled guy opposite me spoke without interruption for half a minute till we thought it was time to cut him off and I managed to enter it. I managed to enter 3 more times. Everyone got an oppotunity to talk & most importantly be heard.
The points were pretty much the same as the ones put on paper. I spoke on RTI activism, the real estate mafia, politician-bureaucrat-biz nexus, RTI in defence deals & mining etc, the flipsides, media attention etc. At the end of the 10.5 munutes, we exited the room, a satisfied lot.
We were called for our turns for our interviews and as expected I was the last one.
All 6 panels had their interviews simultaneously in addition to the IIM B interviews which were also held in the same floor in opposite rooms. When you have the top 100-200 brightest minds of the country together within a few square metres, it is hard to miss the competitive streak and an air of anxiety is always prevalent.

My turn finally did arrive after what seemed an eternity of wait outside the same room in which we had our GD session. (They deliberately did that i guess).

P1: (the khadoos guy), P2 : (relatively cool).I sensed a stress-session there in the offing and i guessed it right!!

P1: Come in, why are you waiting outside. We were wasting time inside
waiting for you.
Me: (Not my problem)Sir, I thought it appropriate to wait till u called me.

P1: Sit down, you dont expect us to ask you questions standing, do u?
Me: sat down

P1: (Not looking at me. He dint 70% of the time ,to unsettle me)Tell us about urself.
Me: (perfect poetry - blah blah1, blah2 etc)

I hand over the originals/certificates to P1. P1 & P2 divide it among themselves as if it were the 'prashad' offered in temple.

P1: (Pissed at not being able to find a fault in my 10th, 12th & grad marks started examining the quality of my trancript, quite deliberately) So where is the original for ur transcript?
Me: Sir , what u r holding is the original transcript of my marks.

P1: What??? (Stunned expression on his face, as if I had told him my favourite hobby was watcing porn) You call this a transcript and u call urself an engineer.
(Turns to P2) Looks at this piece of paper. They call it an original these days it seems. imagine how worse a photocopy wud be (Hearty laugh all around. Hearty laugh changes to a disgusted expression and shake of the head.)

P1: You have a lot of work to do. My advice to u is go and get this laminated properly and only then attend future interviews.understood?

(Ya right, it was just torn a bit at 1-2 places which had obviosuly not missed his eye. He was making a mountain of a mole-hill. I sat expressionless and nodded my head).

P2: You say u hav completed B.Tech. what is so great about B.E/B.Tech? what is the difference between degree & diploma?
Me: (Ragging chalu) ..Sir , B.tech is composed of balh, blah.. ( happily cut off by the ever-khadoos P1).


P1: You have done B.tech in NIT Trichy.
Me : yes sir.

P1: So u will go to IIM Trichy?
Me: Yes sir.

P1: and IIM A?
Me: Yes sir.

P1: Stop confusing us. Do u want IIM Trichy or A? Dont change ur answers at will.
Me: I would A over Trichy.

P1: So u have done B.tech in metallurgy...(cut off by P2)
Me: Yes sir

P2: What is the latest in metallurgy these days?
Me: Rattled off the names of a few processes & benefits in the industry.

P2: (Still obsessed with my marksheets)..See this marksheet specifies marks. You must have a certificate which specifies whether u have flunked or passed?
Me: (What the?) Sir, the marksheet satisfies both requirements. Pls have a closer look (He did and ruefully admitted he was wrong.)

P1: (Purposely singling out a subject in the 6th sem in which I got a D)What is High speed steel?
Me: Told what it is, its uses.

P1: What are its benefits?
Me: Clung on to my 6th sem basics and formed the answer well.

(P1 nodded in appreciation.)

P1: Do u know the inventor of this?
Me: No sir.

P1: Think. He is one connected with 'scientific management'.
Me: Cant recall the name, Sir.

P2: (Feeling left out)I see u have also studied Economics in ur graduation (As if I had a choice then).
Me: Yes sir, i did.

P2: What do u remember? Do u remember anything?
Me: Yes sir (rattled off names/terms/terminologies like 'bandwagon effect','demand-supply' curve,elasticity of demand, 4P's of marketing, Some smith etc.

P2: What is on X-axis of demand-supply curve?
Me: Dont remember ir.

P2: Y-axis?
Me: Dont know sir.

P1: You said adam smith. When did he live?
Me: Sir, 16th century.

P1: He wrote a book. what was it called? (argh..can v just move on)
Me: I remember he wrote book. Cant seem to recollect its name.

P2: At least he remembers Adam smith ( and both have a laugh. I join in)

P2: So wat is ur job about. explain it to us?
Me: Told about it for a few minutes.

P1: So,wat is standardisation?
Me: Explained it to them with the help of an example in automobile part. Told them the benefits of it.

P1: (nodding his head) good. So which is a most recent & visual exampls of standardisation in auto industry?
Me: (thought for while)..Sir, its K-series engines in Maruti (explained about maruti's platform and multiple launches in short ime).

P1: do u know wat is simplification?
Me: no sir. Not heard of it.

P1: do u have any hobbies/interests?
Me: Yes sir reading & blogging.

P1: So u write your own blogs and you are forced to read them urself only. ( Turns to P2. Roaring laughter all around.)
Me: (smiling) Sir, i have got enough readership base for my blogs.

P2: What do u read?
Me: Fiction. Political-fiction.

P2: Which language?
Me: English

P1: What about Tamil? you know to read it?
Me: Yes sir I can read & write

P2: So u read tamil novels also?
ME: No sir, not novels. But i read the smaller sections/captions/sign boards in tamil.

P1:(turning to P2) Most of them dont even know to read their mother-tongue well. Its a pity. (yeah..say that while staying in Mumbai)

P1: Do u read Jeffrey Archer?
Me: No i dont.

P1: Why?
Me: Coz, I find it boring.

P1: (turns to P2 who by now seems to be having a ball of a time)These guys specify reading but say they dont like Archer. What a shame, these people.
Me: (Nothing but a stifled smile)

P2: what books & author?
Me: Named a few

P1: Is the protagonist same or different for all Dan Brown novels?
Me: Sir, for "Da Vinci code" and "Angels & Demons" it is the same.

P1: What is his name?
Me: Robert Langdon.

P2: (cuts off P1 and his questioning spree)..Did u watch the movie or u stick only to books and more books?
Me: Sir i did watch the movie.

P1: What did u like? book or movie and why?
Me: Sir , the book. Becoz while watching the movie you only have to watch what is shown or pojected to u. In a book, u can analyze and make mental pictures of characters as per ypur convenienc and thought.

Both seemed satisfied with the answer. A few more questions followed on it which I reasoned out well. Some more banter and laughter.

P2: You have fileld up PGP-abm profile also.
Me: Yes sir. But its a 2nd choice

P1: Whatever it is. At the end of it, its a choice and u filled it. There is no escape.
Me: Yes sir.

P2: So tell me..why do u want to do abm?
Me: (fumbled at the start but then picked up after a few seconds of thought. Talked abt M&m, farm equipment, initiatives for productivity,mechanization, farm advicing etc and so my interest.)

P2: what is the initiatives taken by m&m called?
Me: Shubhlabh. (Explained what they do like seed distribution, supporting irrigation, soil testing etc.)

P1: Have u been to a village?
ME: Not exactly village. but my engg college was in the country-side far frm city.
(Both giggle over my answer.)

P1: have u been to a village farm?
Me: Yes Sir.

P2: Have u seen people farming?
Me: Yes sir. But not from very close quarters.

P2: So from where do u see farming? Using binocolurs?? (Both have a laugh and i join in with a smile)

P1 & P@ look at each done with a " I am done" expression.
"Thank you" They said in a chorus, I reciprocated and walked out of yet another gruelling session.


Final Verdict: " Converted after a prolonged wait-list. (Not that it mattered finally)"


Regards

Vish

The IIM C interview experience

The first IIM biggie (IIM A) was done with the day before. Although the process went off well for me, I wasn't convinced my performance would be good enough to take me through. The others along with me had had similar interview experiences and most of them had come out with smiling/non-crying faces, a non-indicator. Hence the expectation on the next biggie was more.

'C' had its process at the same centre as 'A' and a similar afternoon session. There was a verification team who checked and matched our attested photocopies with our originals (The Bengali accent too amusing and hard to miss). There were 3 panels for the GD & Interview. I was in panel 1 and there were 7 others along with me. We were led to a room where sat the panel - a lady and a man.

We were told to sit, each given a sheet of paper and told to write an essay.
The topic, well ,take a guess - " The woods are lovely, dark & deep but I have got promises to keep." I could hear hearts sink in the room when the topic was announced. Our 5-min had begun and so did the frantic scribbling. I tried to make some sense out of the Robert Frost lines given to us by linking it to the present day gloom of corruption, negativity and the positivity of youth as the silver lining which helps them keep their promises. Within a few moments our papers were taken away.

We were then instructed to have a GD on the same topic for the next 10 minutes. Everyone had a " Are you kidding me?" expression on their faces for the next 10 seconds till I decided to break the deadlock by bringing in my ideas which more-or-less reflected what I had put on paper.

The others, not to be left behind, then summoned enough thoughts to speak on it for the next 5 minutes. I did make an entry 3more times. The guy & girl to my right & left respectively were more intent on improving their listening skills. A 3rd guy , who seemed to be a Robert frost fanatic, quoted lines from frost's other poems. A 4th guy was making sense everytime he spoke only to be cut by the 5th guy who made up his mind to be as tangential to the topic as posible.

The discussion threatened to meander into a tame end in the first 7 minutes itself as all of us fumbled for new ideas, our creativity taking a kit-kat break. All our efforts to revive the discussion came to no avail and soon enough all of us were summarizing the whole thing. Just too abstract a topic we thought!


Yet another 2 hr long wait, I was the last person.(I once contemplated changing my name. Sometimes its a disadvantage.)

I was called in for my turn.

P1 - the lady
P2- the man

I handed over the interview forms and the verified documents to them.

P2: So tell us a little about yourself.
Me: Acads, company, profile,work ex, city, family etc (lasted 2 minutes till I was cut off by the lady)

P1: What is your job all about?
Me: Ma'am , its more about vendor management & part development. (Spoke about my job in Materials management, developing auto components, suppliers etc)

P1: (Getting more curious) So which are the vehicle projects you have worked on?
Me: Spoke about the Scorpio, Xylo, Bolero and commercial vehicles like MAxximo and Ingenio and the vehicle systems.

P2: So what are the challenges you have faced in you work?
Me:(talked about satisfying the various agencies including the designers, pricing team, supply chain, the supplier etc)

P2: Any specific challenges you can highlight?
Me: Talked about a recent challenge of developing a second supplier, upgradation, resolving critical issues.

P1: (Validating my answer) Where was the supplier?
Me: Rajkot.

P1: I see you have won a few awards in quizzing. what about GK quiz, nothing?
Me: I am good at it Sir. but back in college there were many who were more competent than me. hence I dont have any objective evidence to show for it.

P1: Ok..So besides that, what are your interests?
Me: Blogging & Reading

P1: What do u read?
Me: Fiction

P2: Tell us about the last book that u have read.
Me: "The negotiator" by Fredrick forsyth. (Gave her the entir gist of it.)

P2: Any 3 highlights of the book?
Me: Told

P1: But why is called the negotiator?
Me: Told

P1: So does every situation need a negotiator?
Me: told him something like , u dont need any specific person. Each situation demands certain skills or strengths and each one of equipped with those in given circumstances could act as one.

P1: So do you think Hosni mubarak was a good negotiator?
Me: Spoke about how he had to assess the ituation, the benefits and flipsides of him continuing or stepping down, needed to 'give' more than 'take' on issues like unemployment, std of living etc.

P1 & P2 nodded in affirmation

P2: So ..tell us about your blog?
Me: told them about the latest one.( One about CAT2020, which took a dig at excessive proliferation of new B-schools & institutes and their selection criteria.)

P1: So, would you have been shortlisted if we had applied a minimum criteria for 5th std marks also?
Me: Yes, I have topped in school consistently.

P2: So you think mushrooming of new institutes, as per your blog,is good or bad?
Me: Reasoned out my opinion and then came to the answer on how the management colleges should be graded & classsified, monitored over a period of time and then be given a IIM status because brands dont emerge overnight and that they take shape over the years.

P1: But if we dont have new institutes how will you give management education to people?
Me: Another reasoning on quality and parameters affecting it and employability of the students, not to generate supply by comprimising on quality etc.

P1: How do you measure quality of mba institute?
Me: Spoke on broad-based competencies & capabilities built by a institute which can be applied in practical uses and also how a quality institute provides good human capital even in face of crisis.

P2: Only capability is enough for a job?
Me: Capability, knowledge and attitude all are needed & matter equally.

P2: So M&M selected you because of all these?
Me: Gave yet another reasoning on how there might be constraint of time & space when recruiters come to pick students in colleges, so it might not be possible to assess all these in a shortt time and some asumptions go in it like the name of the institute.

P1 & P2 look at each other and then at me and say " I think we are done"

P2: Do you have any questions?
Me: Why isnt IIM C featuring among the top 10 best b'schools in the world?

They wouldnt have expected anyone to ask it but nevertheless the lady explained how the rankings were not a credible yardstick and they had their own benchmarks and if we had a discussion on it it would cost us the whole day.

I smiled, said a "thank you" and walked out feeling quite satisfied.

I had managed to banish the performance of 'A' aside by performing better in 'C'.


Final Verdict: " Successfully Converted . Khoob Bhaalo"


Regards

Vish

The IIM A interview experience

The past week was packed with activity and it was more hectic than one could have asked for. (The "CATatastrophy" series will still continue on my blogpage but with a few interruptions in the form of my interview experiences like this one.)

So the day had finally arrived. 23rd of Feb it was! The venue for the interview was Dadar Catering College, a stone's throw away from the iconic Shivaji Park. I reached there a good 30 min before the scheduled time of quarter to 2. Seeing a tie in my hand, the man at the gate instantly recognized me as a "interview-wala" and let me in. The college looked more like a complex of residential buildings joined together. Each of these had interview sessions of other IIMs simultaneously. Nervous students and their more anxious parents sat in chairs outside; posibly making the mistake of coming to the venue hrs before the process and sweating their palms off.

Following the directions in the placards, I made my way to the 4th floor to the waiting room of IIM-A which housed about 7 candidates including 2 girls. I greeted all of them with a smile and took my seat. Not even did i spend a minute in the room, did I feel the immense sense of competition all around me which I could literally smell & taste. And why not, it is IIM-A after all, voted the best B-school in the country by popular public perception!!
2 of the dudes were deeply engrossed in the "economic times" enough to give you running commentary on the volatility in markets & inflationary sentiments. The girl to my right, not to be outdone, took out a book from her bag and started romancing derivatives & integral calculus. The most nervous guy next to me tried to strike a conversation with me by asking me about Laplace transform & Fourier series equations. I gave him a look as if he had just asked me about Suresh Kalmadi's bank balance.

A big, burly man who could barely make it past the room's entrance, called out our names from the corridor and ticked in his sheet. Maybe they kept him there to intimidate us. We were then summoned into a room with 8 chairs.

We got the first clear view of the people who would evaluate us during the process. P1, was a man probably in his late 40s and with a very accomodating look on his face. P2, a guy in his late 30s, seemed for like a alumnus of the institute, dressed in smart casuals.
After the initial pleasantries, we were asked to keep our certificates/marksheets/profile interview form aside for their verification. We were then given a topic " Networking is more important than academics for success in life." and asked to write on for 10 min on the given sheet of paper.

The 10-min essay writing session started sharp at 1:45 pm (impressed).
I dont think it lasted the exact 10 min.
I made my points crisp,clear and structured it reasonably well although I did sacrifice my hand-writing at times. I tilted towards networking's importance wherein i explained what it is, its evolution over time, what acads can get u to,what networking can get u to, examples about blogs & social networks for brand promotion, etc etc. Our papers were taken away after what seemed like only 5 min. We were then told to sit outside for our turn.

Mine came after a prolonged 2 n half hr wait.

P2 did most of the asking and P1 most of the document verification.

P1: So, what should we call you "Vishwanath" or " Hariharan" ?
Me: sir, "Vishwanath" is my name. (As if it matters, both names aren't the shortest)

Unlike most people whose interviews started with the standard favourtie of the interviewer "Tell me something about yourself", my interviews invariably started with something more simple like "What is your name?".

P1: (smiling & studying my 1st sem graduation marksheet closely) I see you dont seem to be too fond of "Matrices & calculus"
(aargh..D grade in the first sem of engg. I dont know about past-life karma, but past karma of present-life can come to haunt you bad.)

Me: (Smiled and nodded my head in the affirmative with a sheepish "Yes sir")


P2: (Scanning my profile form intently) Vishwanath, just tell us something about your work.
Me: I told them about my journey from the production shop to materials managementin M&M,supplier-related work, quality, cost , delivery, my role & responsibilities in brief, development work in some vehicle projects etc

P1: (whose eyes had lit up when i said Scorpio)So u develop components for Scorpio?
Me: Sir, not just the scorpio but all vehicles which come under the purview of the auto sector.

P1 & P2 nodded.

P2: So,how is M&M doing?
Me: (I spoke abt the varied product range (bike, car, truck etc etc)which M&M had got itself into in place of just the iconic 'jeep' with which it was identified earlier.)

P2: Hmm.. How is M&M's 2-wheeler business doing?
Me: I spoke about it as a brave move. But brave always doesnt mean great move..but still early days

P2: Would u buy/recommend somone to buy a M&M 2-wheeler? why?
Me: (I spoke about the latest news of sales nos dropping in the last quarter, market scene, skepticism to the new entrant and adopting a wait-n-watch policy.)

P2: What is the existing perception about M&M as a company?
Me: I had enough to blurt about. I told them about how M&M as a company is changing from a conservative indian company to a global brand, its JVs with Renault, international trucks & navistar, its acquisition of South korean auto major Ssanyong motors, M&M's entry into new markets like US which are challenging and demanding, projecting a positive image, re-positioning etc etc

P2: Why do u want to leave your present company for an mba?
Me: Told him about how I look to add to my skills with each opportunity, about my growth from just a metallurgist to the auto-engineer and the value-addition i have done in 3 yrs, talked about mba giving me the flexibility to diversify to new areas/sectors and taking up higher responsibilities.

P2: What would u do mba in (specialization)?
ME: Sir, I would want to keep my options open for now (cliched answer)

P2, till then, was still scanning my profile form which was barely 5 pages long and dint need such intense scrutiny. he looked at me with an expresion of "I have heard that b4. Be specific"

Me: If I am asked for preferences, then operations & marketing would be on top of it.

P2 smiled..he had probably heard a lot of finance till then. Finally, someone had saved operations from extinction.

P1: (Who had taken a profound liking to my graduation mark sheets) Which other calls have u got?
Me: Sir, I have got calls from calcutta, lucknow, indore and the 4 new IIMs (have to be honest, no? dont hv a choice, do u?)

P2: What are your hobbies/interests?
Sir: I am passionate about blogging, reading, travel etc


P2: Good, so what do you blog on?
Me: Told them that the blogs are on people, places, events and I keep the subject as relevant and contemporary as possible so that people can enjoy them.

P2: What is the latest on ur blogspace? What is it about?
Me: Spoke about the latest "CATastrophy" series on my page which takes u to CAT2020 with 26 new premier institutes of management, the intensity of competition, the selection criteria etc (they seemed to enjoy it)

P2: What do u read?
Me: Sir, Fiction

P2: Recent fiction novels?
ME: Rattled the names of a few of them and the recent one I had read.

P2: Do u read & follow current affairs?
Me: Yes Sir

P2: So whats the latest news?
Me: Its about Libya. the current situation has escalated to violence.100s are dead and many injured in clashes. Gadaffi is still defiant under international pressure. he has been there for 42 yrs and says he will die a martyr.

P2: Before Libya? in Egypt, the jasmine revolution?
Me: Sir, it started off in Tunisia and then spread to Egypt where Hosni mubarak had to step down eventually.

. Why did Hosni step down after so many days of revolt? he could have held on right?
Me: Sir it was not just the protests. but there was some amount of back-channel diplmacy going on between the US. The US backed him for their interests but they dint want the situation to go out of hand. So he stapped down. (accidentally I said that the americans were fond of him. This attracted a hearty laugh from both of them)

P2: What is the impact of this spreading crisis on india?
Me: I talked about the region being a strategic point for africa, europe, asia and trade & trade routes being affected,the suez canal being an important region with a capacity to transit 3 million oil barrells a day, oil crisis spiralling out of control and more inflation especially for countries like India dependent on arabs for oil.

P1: What are your favourite subjects?
ME: Sir, heat treatment & powder metallurgy

P1 asked me a metallurgy related question which I answered correctly

P2(Again back to current affairs) What is the latest economic news hogging headlines?
Me: Reliance selling stake to BP, budget'11, GDP growth at 8.9%, industry decline a bit etc etc

P2: U say there is economic growth but industry decline..how do u explain the contradiction?
Me: Talked about contributing factors being industry, services & agri sector. While services sector, agri have witnessed growth in each of them , it has been slow in industry.

P1: what is Contribution of agri sector to india's gdp?
ME: 16%

P1:What is the % of population in india dependent on agri?
Me: (Guessed).. Sir 40% ! (feeling silly for the bluff)

P1: Are u sure?
Me: Its just a guess Sir

. Any latest bad news in inda?
Other than the scams, the parliament not functioning due to want of JPC.(aargh..how did i miss telangana, godhra..feeling silly)

P2: Parliament not functioning is actually a good thing. (All 3 of us had a laugh about it.)

P1: What is the market share of M&M in vehicle sales in india?
ME: Told them (on my finger tips)

P1: Do u think the last 3-4 yrs for M&M has been stagnant?
(Spoke about decline in production due to low demand from sept 08 till feb09 , then steady growth, said it was largely slow growth if 2007 compared directly to 2010, hence stagnant overall... I could have done better in this , especially the reasoning)

P2: Do u know probability (oops..finally comes the nuclear bomb)
Me: Yes, a little

P2: Explain cummulative distribution something-something curve..(???)
Me: No sir, not heard of it ( wat do u expect from a metallurgist who has forsaken it for the last 5-6 years of my life.)

P2: Basic probability laws?
Me:(thought for some time)The probability of 2 mutually exclusive events occuring does not influence each other , to which he asked for more basic stuff

P2: can probability be negative?
Me: No

P2: Can probability be zero?
Me: Yes

Both look at eahc other saying "We are done", smile at me and say a pleasant 'thank you'. No alpenliebe offered from the cup.

It was chilled out and lasted between 10-15 mins i guess. the panel was cool.
If u dint know anything u cud say that u dint know it.
It was the same for everyone, so I dint read much into it.
Personally, i cud hv reasoned better in some questions but overall it was an ok feeling.

Kept my fingers crossed..the next day, the next biggie - IIM C.


Final Verdict: " Biggest Convert of the season"

Regards

Vish

The SP Jain GD/GI experience-1

Feb the 17th: Cometh the day, cometh the hr..
Chic Formal clothes + shiny black shoes and me are poles apart! Before this, formal clothes were my companions only on two occasions: College sypmosiums or job-interviews. Finally I settled for a striped black shirt & the new "tailor-"made black pant.

I always seem to have a tryst with Murphy's law each time (The chances that you come across an occupied rickshaw is directly proportional to the criticality of the GD-PI you are gonna attend). Today wasn't the case though. As the auto-wala maneouvered his baby through the busy andheri traffic and I reached well before the stipulated time of 9:00 am.

It was quite an emotional moment to be part of the campus which I (supposedly) spent 2 years of junior college in. Old memories flooded my head - the broken beaker in the fume-filled chemistry lab, dissection of a hapless frog crying for help, 35% attendance, my parents being called to campus, my father giving me a discourse on attending lectures properly, the sports centre, the frankies at Guptaji. It was all up there in front of me like a ppt presentation projected on screen.
Infact, this single day was going to be more value-adding for me than the 2 years put together. The Bhavans' college building wore a new look, a far-cry from the dirty, crumbling castle it was when we last saw it. An anecdote which did the rounds then was that even if the building crumbled to rubble there would be no casualties. No one attended lectures anyway!! I brushed aside all these memories with a wry smile. It was business time , time to get serious.

SP Jain is quite a miniature version of most B-schools. As you enter the main building, there is no "Top 10 B-school" aura attached to it. Serene atmosphere, Simple in construction & style with a few rooms, lecture-halls, a few open spaces here and there and a small piece of vegetation outside which I assumed was the garden. That made up the B-school.

As I strolled to the room which read "Registration for interview round 1", I saw scores of snxious parents outside. Waiting, for most of us seems to be a waste of time but parents, especially mothers dont mind doing that all their lives. They wait for you to make your way out of the womb crying. They wait for you outside the kindergarten classroom as you sit with a teary-eyed face inside. They wait for you outside during the wretched board-exams. They wait with bated breath, to know which college you got into. They wait for you to know how well your interview went off and how good a job you got.

There was a sprinkling of students, 20-odd of them. Half of the males wore ties, some in blazers resembled leaders representing their countries in UN assembly meetings. Most looked like they come straight from their office-meetings and were immersed in their own thoughts.A few females sat far away in the last benches resigned to the fact they would recieve less attention than the interview files no matter what they tried.

I sat in between 2 guys. The dude on the right was dressed in chic-formals; a pink shirt wit hs shiny tie. He wore a nervous-look on his face, almost scaring me to wits. A part of me wanted to go to all the seemingly nervous dudes and calm them. I instantly reminded myself that they were all my opponents in this game. The guy on my left had a very confused expression. He was shuffling & re-shuffling the contents of his folder. He seeemed unsatisfied with the loads of documents,papers,certificates he was armed with or probably he had missed out on a few photo-copies.
The air was filled with a thick sense of competition by now that I could feel it envelope me. We were told that we were gonna be part of the A-panel consisting of 6 of us. We were the first group for the PI. There were 3 other groups after us. As the clock struck 9 we sat in chairs outside the interview room and then we were called in..

To be continued..

The SP Jain GD/GI experience-2

We were 6 of us in the 9:00 am session. After a small wait outside the room, we were summoned in.
There were 4 gentlemen on the panel. The one on the extreme left (P1) was a old man in his 60s, the 2nd man (P2) a much younger guy seemed very much like an almunus, the 3rd man (P3) had a swagger about him and the 4th man looked like an a intellectual.

"Good morning to you all" said P3 as we greeted him back.

"So guys, lets have a GD just to break the ice. Are you ready?" (What ice? GDs are potential ice-makers, not breakers!)

" So your topic for the GD is - " Development and Corruption go hand-in-hand ".
You get a minuted to put down ur points in the sheet of paper."

1 min over, i started off very briskly with points on development, industry, forms of corruption till I realized after the first 2 min that not one was interrupting me. Fast running out of ideas, I gave a momentary pause. One of them took it as a window of opportunity to enter the discussion. I thanked him silently. We ensured that each of us got a decent chance to put forward our points without making it a fish-market and we succeded in doing it and utilizing the full time. Good group dynamics!
I made an entry 2 more times in a big way by quoting examples of the RTI activists being murdered, the builder-bureaucrat-politician nexus, recent stats etc. After about 10 minutes, we were asked to stop. No one was asked to summarize. It did turn out to be a ice-breaker of sorts!

It was evident by now, P3 would do all the talking. He looked the kind who liked to talk. I wasnt wrong.
Each of us had to take turns telling about ourselves, our background, our acads, schooling, work, grad, work, interests/passions etc. 2 in our group were freshers who were still in grad.
P3 took it upon himself to provide some entertainment by indulging in some serious leg-pulling, mainly the 2 freshers. One of them was asked about his favourite subjects. He fumbled when he was asked to define thermodynamics and some other subject. He had kised adios to his chances, in the first 5 min of his interview. The poor guy had a horrid look after his turn. The more confident fresher, a mechanical engineer, was grilled on stock market terminologies when they were told that he wanted to do finance because he liked the sensex (thats called "digging your own grave"). Finally, they (P3)had made him look more foolish.

Then came my turn. P3 at it again. I had to ensure that he dint get a chance to smother me like 3 others before me.

P3: So, "Vishwanath" or is it "Hariharan"?
Me: Its Vishwanath

P3: Lets stick to vishy. Ya, so..vishy tell us who you are?
Me: Spoke about the usual stuff in a free-flowing manner, as if I had mugged it up.

P3: (After listening to a 2-min intro)so how is the auto industry and how do you the prospects in india 5 yrs hence?
Me: Talked about recent auto stuff & launches, threw nos & stats at him, random mention of JVs & acquisitions in india, talked about expansion plans, india growth story etc

P3: So..how do u compare the Indian & Japanese auto-makers?
Me: (Excellent..thats my domain u r in,dude!)Spoke about competencies in design, process, suppliers, discipline, culture, jugaad etc

P3: (With a chuckle)So how many years will it take for us to be on par with the Japanese?
Me: Reasoned out how Indians are up there with the global quality stds and work in-process. It may not be long when Indian brands will be preferred to others.

The other 3 panelists till then had just been sitting dummies. P3 , after occupying a lion's share of the questioning time, went cold and P1 took up with a little help from P1.

P2 asked each of us " Why MBA?" in 6 different styles.

I gave him the very carefully rehearsed answer (true answer!)about building a better skill set, more decision making scope, higher responsibilites..

P2: "How a better skill set?"
Me: More flexibility. more diverse opportunities, more value addition..( more gyaan)

P2:" You r the only person here who has a techno-commercial profile. Why not continue in it and take more responsibilities?"
Me: (I thought my "Why MBA?" answer would suffice. It dint) Told him how my 'metallurgy' tag was acting as an impediment to further challenging roles.

P4: (Making a late entry) " Did u take metallurgy by chance or choice?"
Me: Sir, by choice. I dint want to get into any circuit/IT related field of engg.

All 4 of them looked at each other and nodded their heads in affirmation with a polite" We are done. thank you."

We thanked them and walked out after a 40-min group interview.

After a 15 min break , we were told that only 3 of us had got through and I was one of them.

We then found ourselves in a similar-looking room for our 2nd group interview. There were 6 of us and 2 on the panel. One of them had impeccable english and had a Parsi twang to it. Some of the questions they asked were from the psychometric test we has to take before our 1st group interview.

We were asked about :
our whims & fancies,
our contribution to the society,
our achievements at college & work
"what animal/bird do u identify urself with?",
" What kind of job do u see urself in after u pass out?"
"Where do u see urself 10 years from now?"

Some food for thought! It was a forum to be clear about waht you wanted, your goals, projecting oneself (telling the truth and not bluffing..they did pull up one of the guys because he gave "Miss India" like answers.)

After a 15-min interaction we were through with it.


Final Verdict: "Converted"


Regards

Vish

CATastrophy-2

Changu keyed in his details which included his CAT reg no & his mail id. No sooner did he hit the ENTER button, a "INVALID reg no" page returned to greet him. Changu cursed under his breath and studied the details of his CAT admit card only to note that it was his admit card of CAT2018 which he had still preserved with as much care as his mother's pakoras.
He dug out the recent admit card,entered the details and waited with bated breath & silent prayers. (Possibly one of the few occasions when Katrina had a minority stake in his mind & Lord Ganesha the majority.)

Up came the details!

QA: 99.9265, VA: 99.9162, LR: 99.6271

OA: 99.9281

He fed in the details on the BIM J page since they were the first to come up with their shortlists.

A "hand-shake" image greeted him with the mesage below it reaing:

"Congratulations! You have been shortlisted for the GD-PI process of BIM J."

For a moment, Changu went blank like the screen of his 14" lappie, like those times when it just refused to start. Sitting on the very edge of the chair, hands covering his mouth, eyes wide open, he went into a compete tizzy. He re-confirmed the score a dozen more times. Computative errors where common-place in a competitive exam which decided who among the 2 million young minds were eligible for the 26 Bharatiya Institutes of Management BIMs of the country(BIM-A to BIM-Z)and make good managers.

"Kya hua be?" (What's it dude?). Nangu & Mangu did not miss the cacaphony of emotions on Changu's face. By now, he was looking at the screen intently and grinned incessantly (Katrina had taken a whopping 100% of his mind stakes).

"Abe b*****d !! , I m through? I cant believe it!!" Changu jumped out of his chair and caught his startled room-mates in a bear-hug.

" What's your score & which BIM you checked?" enquired Mangu as he gave him a dry "congrats" hand-shake.

"OA: 99.9281 ,yaar. Can you belive it. Got a call from IIM J!!" still thrilled.

BIM J or BIM Jhumri-talaya was a 3-yr old institution which had just come out the shadow of extreme nurture and care provided by its mentor BIM G (BIM Gorakhpur).

"How come you got through and I dint? We have almost the same percantiles" Mangu eyed Changu with a mix of suspicion & shock. His initial surprise had turned to a heart-breaking sense of having missed the bus.

" Arre, its their criteria. They have given 5% weightage to 5th std marks and 4% each to 7th,8th & 9th. Bach gaya bhaai (Saved)."

"Damn!" Now it was Mangu's turn to bang the table with his fist. He knew he had missed BIM J by a whisker. He was transported back to the past: If only he had supressed the pangs of adolescence clawing him from within and not had a crush on Aditi, he would have done better than a meagre 93% in 9th std. His 'puppy love-life' met a premature end though. Aditi had kissed goodbye to his dreams.

Mangu slapped himself for thinking about Aditi at this inopportune moment. His past sins were not letting him live in peace. "Screw her." he thought. A thought struck him that even her kids might be competing against him in CAT2020.


To be continued...

Regards

Vish

CATastrophy

If one Kat sizzled & seduced in "Sheila ki Jawani",the other CAT was a mixed bag of emotions for many. 12th Jan,2020! Dawned the day when the CAT would finally start purring the fate of the 2 million eager applicants, at the click of the mouse. It was their prized ticket to the 26 BIMs or the 26 Bharatiya Institutes of Management. These were the premier institutes of the country, out of which 6 of the BIMs were the original flag-bearers.

"Abey,yeh site b*****d khul kyun nahi raha hain. Dimaag ka dahi ho raha hain!" (Damn! why is this ite not opening. I am fed up.) Changu exclaimed loudly with a bang on his table.
The half-finished cup of milk on the table almost fell on his 5-year old lappie due to the impact. It was a 14", 2nd-hand lappie which had been repaired out of proportion so much so that its maker's name had faded away. The table had just taken the 17th beating of the morning and would have thought about its past-life karma, if it had a mind of its own.

Changu was clearly frustrated. It was judgement day for him today now that the CAT results had been announced online. He had been at it since 6:00 am in the morning. By CAT-taker stdandards, that was pretty late since the results were out just after midnight. Much to the expectation of the numerous candidates, the site was wilting under the heavy pressure of a million hits, all at once, much like a straw bridge under the weight of a 100 elephants waiting to cross.

Changu had sacrificed 2 hrs of sleep (which he planned to make up for at work later in the day). The optimist that he was, he typed in the site name and punched the ENTER key, only to see a "FORBIDDEN" sign staring him in his face.
He waited patiently,refreshed the page a dozen times within a few seconds but all in vain. It wouldnt budge and stood motionless. He was starting to skate on the edge of impatience when Mangu had told him that some shortlists were already out.

Mangu, Changu & Nangu were room-mates. They were thick friends and shared an amazing sense of camaraderie although they were diametrically opposite in nature. Changu & Mangu shared the same set of hobbies: preparing for numerous entrance exams, giving interviews/GDs, getting rejecting on the same grounds etc.

Nangu was wise enough to opt out of the CAT race. He had understood that his likelihood of success in an Mba exam was as good as the probabilty of finding a camel in Antartica. Mangu, in contrast to Changu, was the "networking" type. He had a god-given penchant for broadcasting "breaking news" very early in the morning, however irrelevant it sounded to the persons listening.

" Abey, Suna kya? Aaj A/B/C/D ke shortlists nikal chuke hain!" (Did you hear?Shortlists for BIM A/B/C/D are already out.) exclaimed a visibly excited Mangu.

" Pata hain, lekin khul nahi raha hain site.
G***d maraa!! kya farak padta hain. kuch ukhaadne waale thode hi hain me!"
( I know that. But the site refuses to open. Curses. What difference does it make. We wont get too far anyway.)
Mangu replied. The optimist in him had just taken a kitkat break. He was visibly frustrated. And when he was in such a mood, he mouthed cuss words (a little more) at will. Mangu & Nangu wouldnt as much bad an eyelid even when Changu used his choicest cuss words. They had got used to each other.

" Mil gaya, mil gaya!!" Nangu screamed. The other two looked at him with shock as if he had just had an orgasm. They rushed over to his table. Mangu was the first one ot punch in his details. He erred at the firt attempt as his finger fumbled under anxiety. A page in the .pdf format opened. It showed a scorecard replete with all details.


"QA - 99.9901, VA - 99.9906, LDI - 98.9261. Overall: 99.99902". Arey yaar, meri toh vaat hain yeh baar" (I am screwed, baby!)
his head dropped in depression. He had missed the magical figures of 99.999996 by a good margin.

Changu waited for hi turn with bated breath.

To be continued...


Regards

Vish