Sunday, January 16, 2011


If one Kat sizzled & seduced in "Sheila ki Jawani",the other CAT was a mixed bag of emotions for many. 12th Jan,2020! Dawned the day when the CAT would finally start purring the fate of the 2 million eager applicants, at the click of the mouse. It was their prized ticket to the 26 BIMs or the 26 Bharatiya Institutes of Management. These were the premier institutes of the country, out of which 6 of the BIMs were the original flag-bearers.

"Abey,yeh site b*****d khul kyun nahi raha hain. Dimaag ka dahi ho raha hain!" (Damn! why is this ite not opening. I am fed up.) Changu exclaimed loudly with a bang on his table.
The half-finished cup of milk on the table almost fell on his 5-year old lappie due to the impact. It was a 14", 2nd-hand lappie which had been repaired out of proportion so much so that its maker's name had faded away. The table had just taken the 17th beating of the morning and would have thought about its past-life karma, if it had a mind of its own.

Changu was clearly frustrated. It was judgement day for him today now that the CAT results had been announced online. He had been at it since 6:00 am in the morning. By CAT-taker stdandards, that was pretty late since the results were out just after midnight. Much to the expectation of the numerous candidates, the site was wilting under the heavy pressure of a million hits, all at once, much like a straw bridge under the weight of a 100 elephants waiting to cross.

Changu had sacrificed 2 hrs of sleep (which he planned to make up for at work later in the day). The optimist that he was, he typed in the site name and punched the ENTER key, only to see a "FORBIDDEN" sign staring him in his face.
He waited patiently,refreshed the page a dozen times within a few seconds but all in vain. It wouldnt budge and stood motionless. He was starting to skate on the edge of impatience when Mangu had told him that some shortlists were already out.

Mangu, Changu & Nangu were room-mates. They were thick friends and shared an amazing sense of camaraderie although they were diametrically opposite in nature. Changu & Mangu shared the same set of hobbies: preparing for numerous entrance exams, giving interviews/GDs, getting rejecting on the same grounds etc.

Nangu was wise enough to opt out of the CAT race. He had understood that his likelihood of success in an Mba exam was as good as the probabilty of finding a camel in Antartica. Mangu, in contrast to Changu, was the "networking" type. He had a god-given penchant for broadcasting "breaking news" very early in the morning, however irrelevant it sounded to the persons listening.

" Abey, Suna kya? Aaj A/B/C/D ke shortlists nikal chuke hain!" (Did you hear?Shortlists for BIM A/B/C/D are already out.) exclaimed a visibly excited Mangu.

" Pata hain, lekin khul nahi raha hain site.
G***d maraa!! kya farak padta hain. kuch ukhaadne waale thode hi hain me!"
( I know that. But the site refuses to open. Curses. What difference does it make. We wont get too far anyway.)

Mangu replied. The optimist in him had just taken a kitkat break. He was visibly frustrated. And when he was in such a mood, he mouthed cuss words (a little more) at will. Mangu & Nangu wouldnt as much bad an eyelid even when Changu used his choicest cuss words. They had got used to each other.

" Mil gaya, mil gaya!!" Nangu screamed. The other two looked at him with shock as if he had just had an orgasm. They rushed over to his table. Mangu was the first one ot punch in his details. He erred at the firt attempt as his finger fumbled under anxiety. A page in the .pdf format opened. It showed a scorecard replete with all details.

"QA - 99.9901, VA - 99.9906, LDI - 98.9261. Overall: 99.99902". Arey yaar, meri toh vaat hain yeh baar" (I am screwed, baby!)
his head dropped in depression. He had missed the magical figures of 99.999996 by a good margin.

Changu waited for hi turn with bated breath.

To be continued...