Female Quotient

The Sunday newspaper does throw up something intresting in the midst of all the Nuke Deal chaos, the ballooning inflation and the grief-stricken stock market. Well as amusing at it may sound, there's something called a women's vodka. Yes,a drink exclusively for women. The latest addition to the list which celebrates 'female'dom. Women's day, Women's cream, a Women's radio station,women's reservation, woman mail etc etc.
And now women's vodka! I was pleasantly surprised no one had made a big deal about it, either on TV or radio. It could be because of 3 things (besides ,of course,poor marketing strategy): maybe women find it too sissy to celebrate 'being a woman' and stuff like that, maybe they really dont care or both.
Well, guys do have a point when they say that its not a 'man's world' as it is so often, made out to be. And girls too being the true "fight-until-death" species would argue otherwise, saying the are the worthy ones. A lot had been said and written about the so-called gender war. Most of this being very conveniently exploited by commercial movies to the fullest for producing typical candy-floss entertainment which, if viewed now, are.. Yawn!
Anyways, breaking the cliche and being unorthodox is and has always been the trend.

Below is a questionnaire for the fairer sex. Hope you like it and I hope you manage to read the whole thing. The more the negatives, the more your FQ or female quotient is. So, Go on, Why should guys have all the fun!

Complete the sentence
. Behind every successful man...

1) There is a woman (-100)

2) There is a woman who wonders "How did he become successful with me around?" (-150)



. Most girls think ...

1) Every guy is an a**hole. (-10)

2) Every guy, except her favourite film hero, is an a**hole.(-50)

3) Guys are normal. (0)



. If a guy doesnt give you the attention you seek, doesnt indulge you in sweet talk or basically sounds dis-interested in you, your reaction would be

1) "I think he's gay. He isnt straight." (Grapes are Sour). (5)

2) " Thinks he is some Big VIP or something..snob! Er.. is he looking this side by any chance? " (-15)

3) " Never seen such a MCP in my life.(Male Chauvinist Pig, if u havent figured that out). Doesnt know how to talk to a girl." (-20)

4) " Damn boring. Nothing 'Happening' about him. Arre, just imagine...like..I stood near him and he dint notice me for like 10 minutes!! whoa! By the way, am I looking too fat.?" (tugs at the bottom of her 'top' as if there is a mirror visible only to her.) (-10)


. If the same guy were to give you the 'interested' look,the attention you seek or tries to indulge you in sweet talk and ask you out, your reaction would be:

1) " Cheap Flirt! I know what your intentions are, Mister." (10)

2) " So you say I am the one ,huh? Or am I number 31?" (15)

3) "Akeli ladki ko chedte sharam nahi aati, Ghar mein ma-behen nahi hain kya?" (5)

4) " You cheapo,womaniser! How disgusting can you get." (20)

5) " Actually..Er..can we just be good friends." (-100)

6) " Dont worry bro, very soon you will get hooked." (-200)



. When a guy talks about Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba, Bips,Aishwarya and the likes. you would

1) Say "Oh puh-lease" , feel utterly disgusted and start bitching about the above actresses, and villify them to the point of hate. (-1000)

2) (Smile expectedly) "Boys will be boys." (-10)

3) (Sarcasm)"All you men are the same." (-50)

4) (Disguested expression) " You guys are all sick." (-50)

5)(Give your guy a look as if he had watched porn) "You pervert!" (-100)



.You are in the theatre and there is love scene, in which the lead couple is holding hands and whispering dialogues with absolutely no other action for the next 10 minutes.

1)You say " Aww..how cute!" in a soft and girlie tone. (-90)

2)Slap and Wake your guy up. (-100)

3) .. And tell him " See duffer! This is called romance. Learn it" (-1000)

4)Expect your guy to assume you are better than the actress and pester him to enact the same scene daily with you. (- 5000)



. Men make a big fuss about how women are a mystery and how they cant understand what women actually want. Women want

1) unconditional love. (0)

2) A guy = Her Favourite Bolly actor + Her favourite Indian male super-model + her favourite singer + Sanjay kapoor (remember Khaana Khazaanaa on TV??)+ an inustrialist, all rolled in one. (-5)

3) A Guy who is sweet, caring, loving, affectionate,... BLAH
( BLAH = a list of 1490 common adjectives commonly used by every girl for describing the concept of something called a "dream man",common on social networking sites) (-100000...)



. Your favourite question/exclamation of all time would be?

1) " Am i looking good?" (-25)

2) " Is she slimmer and hotter or am I?" (-50)

3) " This color/dress/ring/necklace suits me ki that color/dress/ring/necklace?" (-75)

4) " Who is She?" (-100)

5) " How Sweet/Rude!" (-150)

6) " Oh puh-leaze, Grow up guys!!" (-200)


. You find this girl in a party, much better-looking than you,who's got all the male- company, conducts herself pretty well. Your next-day girl gossip would be as follows:

1)Say good things about her during your gossip session. (+ infinity..You can skip this option!!)

2)Make a face as if you dint care one bit but deep inside you are burning and reminding yourself that " She's a Bitch and I feel like killing her". (-100)

3)Say " Bohot attitude dhika rahi thi woh." And make faces,imitate her walk and talk. (-200)

4)Say " Gosh, did you see her dress. Her dress sense was shaming and appalling. (And you buy and wear the same dress a few days later.) (-300)



. As a girl,Your favourite pastime would be..

1) Shopping, bargaining and spending on stuff (-20)

2) ...which is expensive and of absolutely no use to you (-200)

3). Swiping credit cards (-25)

4) ...which are obviously not yours (-250)

5) Make the guy carry the shopping bags without paying him coolie charges (350)



Do calculate your Female Quotient and let me know.



Regards


Vishwesh

A rainy day

As kids,I remember, our first essay of english class from 3rd to 5th grade would be titled " A Rainy Day". And we used to write it without an iota of suffering, destruction or misery mentioned in it,making it sound almost next to a fairy-tale.

Today was just the opposite. It poured on unmercifully for almost the first half of the day. I Got stuck in the middle of nowhere and somehow made it,past mini-rivers, to work. Comin back was easy though as the weather had easened up.
200 mm of rain was recorded today. Almost a fifth of the downpour experienced on 26/7. Its the start of july and the next 2 months will be tough; the peak season so to speak.
I am already in the process of setting up a mini house in my office cubicle, with the luxury of bare necessities like a towel, extra sock and other dressing accessories. I am sure many of you would have done pretty much the same thing or would be doing it soon.
Nevertheless, today was nighmarish for many. For a brief period, I guess, transport services were hit, but otherwise it was life as usual.It was just sufficient enough to remind people of that dreadful day which is still fresh in minds even after 3 monsoons.

Health to all!

Regards

Vishwesh