Friday, May 04, 2007

RaaRaa

Quarter to 3! I was at the xerox shop staring at the empty glass bottles on the juicy table.The xerox anna instantly recogonized me as the guy who took 31 cpc copies daily and laid out 2 bundles of 31 copies each and with it the bill which read 219. What I had was a soiled 100 rupee note. Even then i fumbled in my pockets just to show him i was searching for more cash. Obviously not finding it, i gestured that this was just wat i had. He returned an angry stare which suggested " you are going nowhere mate' as he advanced towards me. And then I woke up with a start as my cell phone buzzed with the all too familiar 'Dil chahta hain' ringtone.Wooow! take that for a monday morning dream.
Bundles of A4 sheets,xerox copies,cpcs for juniors and then evaluating the crap had become more than just a part of life as the cpc co-ordi. Dint take me long to figure out that I was actually learning more from the cpcs than the juniors.But most importantly it gave a huge breathing space to the guy who had made me co-ordi in the first place. RaaRaa! RaaRaa's sole motive behind this whole mission was to delay the inevitable (a blog on him)and he made no secret of his deadly conspiracy which he had hatched to dirupt my lovely blog life.
Now something on RaaRaa, the man, the self-proclaimed drunkard! A battered and bruised face resembling a minefield of pimples( which he soo desperately tries to cover with a mask of ponds talcum powder), a thin lean body which doesnt seem to get any fatter despite the numerous treats he extracts out of others, a false smile on his face make up this Sick-rep. RaaRaa is quite famous for his oratory skills. His speeches,mostly chaat ones concerning placement, companies,etc (wat more can u expect from a sick-rep?)are a hit in the meta dept especially when we need a change from the usual chaat dished out by the profs. But none can beat the one which propelled him to the post of Sick-rep (and later had his adversary in tears).
RaaRaa's entry into the A2 hall for a ppt is nothing short of an event.
He's suave, sophisticated, gentlemanly and his dressing sense is just enough to make people take notice of him.(all the above mentioned qualities were described in a Valentine's Day letter from a secret admirer of his. will come to that later). He gives his pimple-studded face a massage, his fingers running cheek-to-cheek feeling for every crest and trough on his face, his face tilted at an angle,( the same massage that a guy treats himself to in a shaving-razor commercial) quite subconsciuosly though for almost 10 minutes continuously. He surveys the hall at 9.00am (the time when most ppts are scheduled). Seeing it half empty ,much to his disappointment,he strides out with the air of a busy executive. The only misfit here is his vintage 1100. Then the all too familiar "godfather" ringtone can be heard
His first crush
Contrary to his 'prfoessional' image in the tp, RaaRaa is quite a couch-potato in the hostel. Football ranks number one on RaaRaa's interests. All thanks to the love of his life. The one whom he finds absolutley irresristble and bewitching. None other than fernando morientus!! It was love at first sight and from that moment he had made up his mind that if he were to lose his heart to someone it would be this hot dude. His fanaticism(love)reached dangerous proprtions at times.His swelling Octa printing charges nothwithstanding he filled his room with morientus color printouts day in and day out and would keep staring at the posters all day fantasising about him n FM.
Not long ago football took a backseat and he switched over to the cricket world cup. Now what would you call a person who placed a wager on England saying they will win the cricket world cup? Wouldnt sound anything near a reasonable bet even if it was the soccer world cup!! Well, RaaRaa by no means is part of the Barmy Army if you thought so and even if he was one he would be the only one left! Come an England match he sits with his eyes glued to the comp or the laptop stolen from kaly's room. Dont be fooled by his analysis and comments (The types you usually encounter in post match sessions). His knowledge of cricket is as good as Mandira's if not worse.You cant miss out the permutations and combination he works out to suitably convince ppl around him that englands passage into the semis would be no fairy tale
" England will sweep SA,

They will absolutely steamroll ireland and Bangladesh and then make light work of Srilanka. See! not a problem at all"

You remind him that SL and SA are quality teams in world cricket and you can hear him singing hymns in the praise of Kevin peterson and James Anderson. Dont be surprised if you hear a sudden vociferous roar of " England" or " Michael Vaughan" arms raised in the "Hail Fuehrer" way(A cup of beer in his hand and you would be absolutely sure that RaaRaa is english). Unfortunately RaaRaa's hopes were smashed to smitheerens. Quite frankly not a single soul expected the English to blast their way past their opponents into the semis, the way RaaRaa predicted they would. On the contrary England stumbled at the super eight stage itself and RaaRaa switched loyalties to New Zealand to avoid being the laughing stock in our hostel-wing (which he ultimatley did become.). New Zealand ended up losing its semi final match. All this led us to conlcude that on a day if RaaRaa declared himself unofficial cheerleader for a team, the team was destined to bite the dust on that given day.

One of RaaRaa's strengths is his treat-extracting techniques. He is highly skilled enough to convert "dutch treats" into treats for himself despite having notes stuffed in his pocket. As promised here is the letter he recieved.


RaaRaa's Valentine's day letter

Dear RaaRaa,
Please dont think this is just another Valentine's day card proxy and tear it off. Its a piece of my heart that I am offering you in the form of a wrethced piece of paper stuffed in an envelope. Its been long since we met.Rather we havent met in person but u are always there in my dreams.You are soo smart, sophisticated, suave and your dressing sense is amazing. Makes me wonder whether they are really yours.
I have also heard that you are a really brave man and everyone who stands up against you is nothing more than an insignificant 'INSECT' to you !! I have never felt like this about a guy before.
But it seems you have too much of a pimple problem. Deja Vu I should say!! I ll give u a acne pimple cream as a valentine gift. Dont worry.
And it seems we will be working in the same company and place. Have you started searching for a home for "us" in Banglore?? Do tell me asap if you do. I can be your college mate,company mate,...(fill in the blanks)etc etc all in one. I think it will be fun being together. Recently i have come across rumours saying that you booze a lot these days(Devdas style) and people are attributing it to a certain failed love-affair. Well, now that I will joining you in another 2 months you will have no problems forgetting her (I know who she is ! i know who she is!).
Also please please for Heaven's sake change your cell phone and that irritating ringtone of yours. Its doesnt look like one anymore. There are a lot many other things said about you. But i am not the least embarrased by what people around me say because I like you.
Lets have a candle-light dinner at Jenny's today.

Signing off

Yours lovingly
your ValentinEEE



P.S: I am not paying for the dinner tonight.


Regards

Vishwesh

1 comment:

Anantharam said...

Sir... Raa-raa's phone ringtone aint no 'Godfather'... Its 'Raja ko rani se pyar ho gaya'.... Its as desi as you can get... Lol...